


Beginnings

by snazattack



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-15 07:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 40,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snazattack/pseuds/snazattack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The beginning of Shepard (F) and Liara's relationship. The main storyline is still there but I've taken liberties with the details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Liara sat at her workstation, her thoughts lost in the puzzle that was Commander Shepard. The woman was hard. She pushed her crew to the breaking  
point and would come down on them like a meteor storm if they deserved it. She would also be the first to help them when they needed it or praise them for a job well done. Liara had overheard the Normandy crew describe Shepard as cold, distant and arrogant. They were terrified of her but seemed to  
respect her, in part due to some battle that had taken place several years ago. Because Liara chose to spend most of her time working alone at dig sites, she knew little of human involvement in the galaxy and knew nothing of Commander Shepard's past. Liara learned from her brief conversations with the crew that most would blindly follow Shepard anywhere she felt the need to lead them. The commander exuded confidence and pushed herself twice as hard as she pushed her crew. She kept a tight rein on her emotions so, for most, it was impossible to see anything other than a woman completely in control of herself and her domain when looking at Shepard. Liara had glimpsed something else though. Underneath the persona of Commander, Liara saw a woman…an extraordinary woman to be sure but a vulnerable woman who hurts and despite being surrounded by people, carries her burdens alone. In the days she had been aboard the Normandy, she had taken every opportunity to observe the commander as she went about her duties. It was a bit unnerving to feel so drawn to a total stranger but Liara couldn't help herself. She found her eyes, of their own free will, searching for the commander each time she left her assigned quarters behind the med bay. She watched the commander's every move when they were in close proximity to each other and saw flashes of the real Shepard underneath the commander's mask. Liara wanted to sit and talk with the commander…get to know her on a personal level. And, if she was being honest with herself, find out more about Shepard's encounter with the Prothean beacon. It was almost as if Shepard was avoiding her though. She was polite and respectful but tended to leave a room if Liara entered. Liara felt sure that she had done something to anger the woman but had no idea what or how to fix it.

Perhaps I should speak with Dr. Chakwas, she thought. She might have an idea of what I did wrong. Or, maybe I should ask the commander. She is a straightforward person and…

A knock at the door startled Liara from her thoughts. She turned to see Commander Shepard entering the room, the hint of a smile on her face.

"Commander Shepard, what can I do for you?" Liara stammered, surprised by the unexpected visit from the commander.

"Dr. T'Soni, I just wanted to ask you to join the rest of the team in the comm center in a few minutes. I want to bring you up to speed on our mission and take advantageof your knowledge of the Protheans."

"Please, call me Liara, Commander. I would be happy to join the team to discuss the mission and, of course, I will be of any help I can." Liara's heart was pounding in her chest just being in the small room with Shepard whose eyes, Liara noticed, were roaming all over the room, refusing to rest on Liara.

Shepard turned to leave, "Good, I'll see you in there…Liara."

Liara watched Shepard's retreating form and felt herself blushing. She couldn't help the silly smile that covered her face. Goddess, just to hear her say my name makes my heart want to fly right out of my chest.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Shepard's knees felt weak after speaking with Dr. T'Soni. What is it about her that does this to me?, she thought. Since Liara had been brought to the Normandy, Shepard had been avoiding her. She couldn't trust herself around the Asari. When she was near Liara, she wanted to reach out to her both physically and emotionally. From the moment she met the scientist, Shepard felt an invisible force pulling her towards Dr. T'Soni and it took all of her considerable willpower to keep herself from giving in to the impulse. She couldn't let herself be vulnerable like that again. It was best to keep her distance and keep their contact to a minimum. Not easy to do in such close quarters, Shepard thought as she entered the comm room. Liara and Garrus entered just behind her. Shepard brought Liara up to date on the mission and asked for her input concerning the Protheans. Shepard couldn't resist smiling at how animated the Asari was when discussing her work. Unfortunately, Liara was unable to provide any useful information that would explain Saren's interest in the beacon. She did question Shepard extensively about her contact with the working beacon and before the team dispersed, Liara offered to help Shepard understand the visions she received from the beacon. She explained that, by melding with Shepard and due to her expertise on the Protheans , she may be able to help sort the images into a more complete picture. Shepard was hesitant but willing to do anything that would help her stop Saren.

Liara stood in front of Shepard, staring into her eyes. Her head was tilted back and her beautiful blue eyes were suddenly a black void. Shepard was startled but barely had time to think about it before she felt Liara… inside her. She didn't know how to explain what she was feeling. She panicked trying to close herself off from the Asari, to lock her out of all the memories, loss and pain. Liara must have sensed her struggle because Shepard could feel a wave of calm rush through her. She felt like she was being embraced and, for the first time since she was a very small child, she felt protected. Shepard let herself relax into the warmth that was Liara and was able to focus on the visions from the beacon. She could sense Liara's discomfort and fear at what she was seeing but she could also sense, at Liara's core, a strength and determination that surprised her. After a few minutes, Shepard could feel Liara pull away from her. The Asari's eyes were blue again and she looked very unsteady on her feet.

"Liara, are you okay?"

"I am sorry, Commander. The melding is very draining and I have not fully regained my strength. I just need to rest," said Liara who was swaying on her feet.

Shepard took Liara's arm to steady her, "I think Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you. Let me help you to the med bay."

Her touch only makes my knees feel weaker, thought Liara.

She pulled her arm from Shepard's grasp. "Maybe you are right, Commander. I will talk with Dr. Chakwas. I can get to the med bay on my own. You must have more important things to do than tend to me. Perhaps we can talk more about the images you received from the beacon tomorrow."

Shepard, feeling rejected, acknowledged Liara with a nod as the Asari left the comm center. She dismissed the rest of the team and made her way to her quarters.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Liara did talk with Dr. Chakwas who prescribed several days of rest. She was now lying on the bed in the small room at the back of the med bay. For hours now, she had been trying to sleep but she couldn't stop thinking about Commander Shepard. The melding with Shepard was very difficult. The woman had so many barriers locking parts of herself away. It took most of Liara's energy to calm Shepard and help her focus on the visions from the beacon. The visions themselves were terrifying to Liara. They showed nothing but widespread destruction. Unfortunately, she didn't have enough understanding to make sense of them. She couldn't imagine how Shepard had managed to survive the experience with the beacon. It would have destroyed most people. Even after only a few days, Liara knew that Commander Shepard was not most people and was quite probably the most amazing being she would ever meet. Liara was curious by nature and she wanted to know what had happened to Shepard to make her panic during the melding. She could still feel Shepard's anxiety and fear bombarding her. Her heart ached for Shepard and she wanted to protect her as she had tried to do during the melding. I want to know more about her and her past, thought Liara as she moved from her bed to the computer sitting in the small room.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Shepard entered her quarters and locked the door. She had an open door policy with her crew but she needed time alone right now. She sat on the edge of her bed, tears streaming from her eyes. She hated feeling this way…alone, scared, weak. This was the real Shepard- the Shepard no one knew. She had worked so hard to create the other Shepard, Commander Shepard, and being that person was as easy as breathing most of the time. There were times, like now, when she just needed to be herself, to feel the fear and pain and loneliness. The loneliness was the hardest for her. Everyone saw her as a cold, heartless bitch that would do anything to complete a mission because that's the person she wanted them to see. Her crew feared her, respected her, but they didn't like her. On a ship full of people, Shepard always felt alone…until today. When she panicked today during the meld, Liara sensed it and somehow comforted her. She made Shepard feel safe. That's why Shepard had to keep her distance from the Asari. She couldn't let herself feel again. She didn't think she could pick up the pieces to put herself back together if she let herself feel those things only to lose them again. Shepard wanted so badly to go to Liara and talk with her, sit with her… just be near her. Instead, she curled up on her bed, hugging her pillow tightly to her chest, and cried until sleep claimed her.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Liara sat in front of the computer reading the information again. She couldn't believe that someone as young as Shepard had been through so much. The commander had not had an easy life. It is no wonder she builds a wall around herself, thought Liara. The information Liara managed to find concerned Shepard's life after she joined the Alliance. She was a military hero and the only survivor of her squad after a Thresher Maw attack. There was very little mention about her childhood years other than she grew up an orphan on Earth. Liara knew that those early years were probably not happy ones for Shepard. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know everything about this woman who had managed to capture her interest with no more than a look. She did not think it wise to question Shepard and didn't feel comfortable asking the crew. She could sense that they didn't trust her and were waiting for her to betray them to her mother. She did, however, feel that she could talk with Dr. Chakwas. Liara stood from her chair and had to resist the impulse to wake the doctor immediately. Instead, she walked through the med bay and found herself in the crew dining area where she poured something to drink and sat down at a table. She knew that she should try to sleep but felt very awake and was unable to stop thinking about Commander Shepard… her green eyes, confidence, strength… the loneliness she felt from Shepard during the meld. The thought of Shepard, this amazing, strong woman feeling like she was alone in the universe nearly broke Liara's heart. She couldn't help feeling that there was some sort of connection between them. It's just me feeling like this because she rescued me from those geth, thought Liara. Her mind wouldn't let her believe that there might be something between them but her heart reminded her of the way Shepard looked at her when they first met, the way Shepard hesitated before releasing her hand after helping her to her feet. Liara wanted to let Shepard know that she is not alone. She just didn't know how to do that without embarrassing herself or, worse, upsetting the commander. She finished her tea and rose to go to her bed to try to sleep.

"Well, if it isn't the traitor's daughter."

Liara recognized the man as part of the crew but she had never spoken to him and didn't know his name.

"It seems that I'm at a disadvantage since I have no idea who you are" said Liara.

"You don't need to know who I am. Are you a traitor like your mother? Just waiting for all of us to trust you so you can sell us out to Saren?"

"I'm sorry you feel that way. I have betrayed no one and have no intention of doing anything to harm this ship or this crew. If you'll excuse me…"

The man grabbed Liara by the arm in a vice like grip and spun her back around to face him. "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you, Asari bitch!"

Liara winced from the grip around her arm but tried to stay calm. She wanted the crew to trust her, not feel that she would betray them at any moment. "Please, release my arm."

He tightened his grip and pulled Liara toward him. "You'll be sorry you ever came aboard this ship. I see the way you look at the commander, trying to gain her trust. I won't let you hurt her or anyone else on this ship."

Liara was starting to feel frightened. She thought she could use her biotics to free herself from the man's grasp but that was no way to build trust with the crew. Who would they believe if one of their own told them that she attacked him unprovoked?

The man grabbed her other wrist and pushed her against the wall. His face was inches from her and she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Stop this now and no one else needs to know. Let me go", pleaded Liara.

His response was to shove her against the wall and push a syringe into her arm. Liara's head slammed against the wall and she felt herself going limp. She slid down the wall only to have her attacker pull her back to her feet and slam her against the wall a second time. He threw her to the floor and she could feel his hands groping and pulling at her clothing. Oh goddess, don't let this happen. Liara could feel warmth spreading through her body and her mind was beginning to feel disconnected. She tried to use her biotics but it was useless. Whatever the man had given her was acting as a barrier. She couldn't do anything to help herself. He will kill me, thought Liara. I know who he is and he will kill me. She made one last desperate effort to push him away but only succeeded in angering him. Liara was thinking that she would never have a chance with Commander Shepard as blackness took her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of Shepard & Liara's relationship. The main storyline is still there but I've taken liberties with the details.

Shepard sat upright in her bed. She had no idea what had woken her or why she felt an icy fear in her chest. Grabbing her gun, Shepard ran from her quarters. She scanned the area of the ship immediately outside her cabin and saw nothing out of place. Lowering her gun, she shrugged and laughed at her trigger happy reaction. She looked around the area again and, finding nothing, turned to go back to her bed. She was just about to close her door when she heard what sounded like someone whimpering. Again, Shepard looked around the area but saw nothing. She stepped to the center of the dining area and listened. Finally, she heard the sound again. It was coming from the darkest area in the room. Shepard ran to her locker and grabbed a flashlight. She clicked it on and made her way slowly toward the area where she heard the sound. The last thing Shepard expected to find was Dr. T'Soni lying on the floor, a pool of blood under her head. Shepard was stunned for a split second then she felt an agonizing fear in her gut that the woman was dead or dying. She's not dead. She's not dead. She's going to be okay. She rushed to Liara's side and was relieved to see that her chest was rising and falling steadily. Her hands shaking, Shepard put her arms under Liara and started to lift her from the floor. The Asari cried out in pain and curled her injured body around Shepard who was kneeling beside her.

"Hey- it's okay. Liara, its Shepard. I just need to get you to the med bay. I'm going to pick you up so I can carry you, okay?"

When there was no response, Shepard once again placed her arms under Liara and managed to lift her into her arms. Cradling Liara gently against her chest, Shepard carried her to the med bay.

After she woke Dr. Chakwas, Shepard reluctantly left Liara with the doctor and returned to the dining area to search for clues about Liara's attacker. She found nothing. Torn between wanting to find the person that attacked Liara so she could satisfy her anger and wanting to be in the med bay with Liara, Shepard ground her teeth in frustration. There's nothing I can do for Liara. She's in good hands with Dr. Chakwas, thought Shepard. Her feet, however, were immune to her mind's reasoning and she found herself back in the med bay where Dr. Chakwas ordered her to stay out of the way. She sat in a chair as near as Dr. Chakwas would allow. She couldn't take her eyes off Liara as Dr. Chakwas examined her. She looked so vulnerable. Shepard felt a surge of protectiveness for the young Asari. As Shepard watched the scene in front of her, she noticed all the injuries. It was dark in the dining hall and her focus had been on the blood seeping from Liara's head. Now she saw that there were bruises around Liara's neck and covering her face. Her lip was swollen and bleeding and her wrist was twisted at an odd angle. It was then she noticed that Liara's dress was ripped and barely hanging on her. "No"she whispered. "Please, no."Shepard buried her face in her hands as tears filled her eyes and her nightmares came back to haunt her.

Shepard didn't know how long she had been waiting. At one point, Liara was moved behind a curtain and Shepard was left to wonder what they were doing for so long. She posted a guard outside the med bay doors and had given the soldier strict orders to keep everyone out unless they were cleared to enter by her. Her emotions were all over the place, murderous rage and gut wrenching fear being the two dominant ones. Shepard was not known for being a patient person and the waiting had put her on the ragged edge of her patience. She paced the floor for what seemed like hours, planning horrendous torture for the person that did this to Liara. She finally settled down and was staring out the window when Dr. Chakwas approached.

"Commander."

"Shepard?"

Shepard turned at the sound of her name. "How is she doctor?"

"She is stable now although she is still not awake. There are two wounds on her head, a broken wrist, several cracked ribs and multiple abrasions. I also found Midazolam in her bloodstream. I only checked because there was a large bruise on her arm. While examining it, I saw a needle mark and suspected she had been injected with something."

"Midazolam, what is that?"

"It is a very potent sedative, Commander. It could have easily killed her and probably would have if you had not found her when you did."

"What about the head wounds? Will she be okay,"asked Shepard in a shaky voice.

Dr. Chakwas sighed, "She has suffered a great deal of trauma to her head. It is never certain that everything will be back to normal with injuries like this although I am hopeful. There is very little swelling and she was treated immediately."

Shepard bit her lip at the thought of asking the next question but, she had to know. "Is she… was she…I noticed her clothing was ripped."

"Dr. T'Soni was not sexually assaulted, Commander. I believe that the attacker did attempt to do so but was frightened away by something, possibly you."

Shepard felt weak with relief and could feel a smile twitching at her lips.

"Can I see her,"she asked.

"Of course, Commander. Dr. T'Soni has only been on the Normandy a few days and has not had much interaction with anyone. Even surrounded by the crew, she is alone. It might help if she knows someone is waiting for her to wake."

Shepard looked up at Dr. Chakwas' words and found the older woman staring straight into her eyes. Looking puzzled, she moved around the doctor, went to Liara's bedside and pulled a chair to the side of Liara's bed.

"I will leave you here with her while I rest briefly. But, I'm warning you, Commander. When I return, I want you out of here to eat and get some sleep. Doctor's orders."

Before Shepard could respond, Dr. Chakwas was gone and the door was closing behind her.

Shepard stood and looked down at Liara for several minutes before finally sitting in the chair she had pulled to the bedside. Seeing the bruises that covered Liara's face and neck, Shepard felt her anger threatening to erupt out of her. She didn't know if Liara could hear her but she didn't want to risk causing the Asari distress if she somehow did know that Shepard was with her. She took deep breaths and eventually felt herself calming. Shepard knew that she shouldn't be here, shouldn't let herself feel the things she was feeling for Liara. She needed to protect herself from being shattered into a million pieces again. Shepard's eyes became unfocused as she stared at the vulnerable woman in front of her and, after several minutes, she realized that her biggest fear lay not in being unable to protect herself but being unable to protect Liara. It could only lead to heartache for someone like Liara to be involved with someone like me, thought Shepard. I'm a difficult, controlling bitch whose only focus is completing the current mission. A mission I am not likely to survive. I can't do that to her. A bitter laugh escaped Shepard and she shook her head. You're an idiot, Shepard. Who said she even wants anything with you. Just because you feel this way doesn't mean that she does too, you arrogant ass. Shepard lowered her face to her hands, her dark red hair falling to either side of her face, and vowed to keep her distance from Liara once she knew that the Asari would be okay. Shepard sat by Liara's bedside until Dr. Chakwas returned a few hours later. The doctor examined Liara, reported no change in her condition and ordered the commander to go eat and get some rest. After reassurances that Dr. Chakwas would let her know if there was a change in Liara, Shepard left the med bay to find Garrus.

"Garrus, I need your help."

"Shepard, what can I do for you?"

"Someone attacked Dr. T'Soni last night. I found her in the dining hall unconscious. I need to find out who did this and why," said Shepard who was feeling a great deal of anxiety at leaving Liara alone.

Shepard saw anger flash in Garrus' eyes before he responded.

"How is she? I heard some of the crew talking about the med bay being under guard but no one knows what's going on. What do you need me to do?"

Shepard updated Garrus on Liara's condition and explained the events of the previous night to him. It was difficult to do without falling back to the emotional wreck she had been earlier. She asked him to investigate, talk to the crew, review security tapes, anything to find the person responsible. Shepard told Garrus that the crew did not trust Liara due to her mother's involvement with Saren and asked him to appear sympathetic to their belief that Liara would betray the Normandy and her crew to Saren. She also asked Garrus not to discuss Liara's condition or his investigation with anyone but her.

"Of all the people on this ship, she is the last person to deserve something like this," said Garrus.

"I have to agree with you there. Let me know immediately if you learn anything. And thanks Garrus."

Shepard walked to the dining hall but didn't really have an appetite. As she passed through on her way to her quarters, she noticed several crew members stop their conversations and unobtrusively look her way.

It could be any of them, she thought.

Shepard did not know most of the crew well. She had just been recalled for active duty a few weeks ago- just before Eden Prime. She made eye contact with the crew who dared look her in the eyes and nodded as she passed. When she reached her cabin, Shepard showered quickly and put on a fresh uniform. She made her way back to the med bay knowing that Dr. Chakwas would not be happy with her. As suspected, Dr. Chakwas gave her a stern look as she walked in the door.

She held up her hands to stop the lecture before it started, "I know, I know- I'm supposed to be resting. I'm too wound up to rest and I need to be here right now. I want to be here when she wakes up," said Shepard.

Dr. Chakwas must have seen something in Shepard's face because she just nodded her head and pointed to the chair by Liara's bed.

"She seems to be responding more to external stimuli but there are no other changes. It might help if you talked to her."

Shepard sat by the bed for quite some time but didn't speak to Liara until they were the only two in the med bay. She had already decided that she wouldn't pursue anything with Liara for both their sakes. Surprisingly, it hurt more than Shepard could have imagined as she vowed to herself that she would not reveal her feelings to Liara. She wanted nothing more than to spend time with Liara and get to know her better- to open herself to someone again. She wanted Liara to know that she was not alone, that she was right there with her. Shepard started talking to Liara. She periodically brushed her hand against Liara's face or briefly held her hand as she talked to her about music, books, past missions, anything that came to mind. She told her stories from ancient Greek mythology. When Shepard was a child on earth, she found an old book of Greek mythology in an abandoned building in the slums where she was living. Squatting really- she had no home and spent her nights wherever she could find shelter, warmth and safety. She treasured the book and read those stories countless times. She could recite them forward, backward and in her sleep. It was these stories that helped her get through those dark years and made her want to be the hero that would stand up to injustice and help those that needed it. It was a child's silly dream but it was enough to keep her strong and determined enough to get through each day. They were simple stories from centuries in the past but they saved her life, gave her something to reach for, a dream to grab hold of to pull her out of her miserable existence.

After several hours, Shepard had not seen any indication that Liara had heard her or knew that she was there. She felt an icy hand squeeze her heart at the thought that Liara might not wake up. Tears filled her eyes as she took Liara's hand and lifted it to her lips.

"Liara, I don't know if you can hear me. Dr. Chakwas thinks maybe you can. I'm scared, Liara. I will take on anyone or anything in the galaxy without a trace of fear but the thought that you might not wake up scares me to death. It makes me feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I know we don't know each other well but I feel drawn to you like I never have with anyone. It's like my body knows something that the rest of me hasn't figured out yet. I want to spend time with you, get to know you. I'm not one for giving my trust quickly but the moment we met, I knew I could trust you. When you melded with me to help make sense of the images from the beacon, I know that you sensed my panic and somehow made me feel calmer- at peace even. There are things that no one knows about me, things that I don't even want to know about me. I was afraid you would see those things, see behind the commander Shepard persona. I'm scared of what I feel for you, Liara, scared that you don't feel the same, scared that I would only hurt you if you did. I know that you're going to wake up and be okay. When you do, I have to put that wall back up. But, at least, this one time I can tell you how I feel about you. It feels good to say it even if you can't hear me. "

Shepard stood and pressed her lips against Liara's forehead before sitting back down and falling into an exhausted sleep, Liara's hand held protectively in hers.


	3. Chapter 3

For several days, Shepard spent most of her time in the med bay. She left to eat, change clothes and check in with Garrus then she returned to the med bay and her chair at Liara's bedside. Although Liara wasn't awake, Dr. Chakwas had assured Shepard that Liara's injuries were improving every day. Garrus felt certain that he knew how to catch Liara's attacker but wouldn't tell the commander until he had a plan. Surprisingly, Shepard, her mind consumed with Liara's recovery, let Garrus handle it. Shepard had let it be known that Liara had medical problems and was unconscious. She didn't want to jeopardize their chances of catching Liara's attacker so didn't want the crew to know what had happened. She dismissed the two soldiers guarding the med bay and had Liara moved to the small room at the back of the med bay where she had been assigned when she first came on board the Normandy. It was really nothing more than storage space for Dr. Chakwas but at least it was private.

Shepard had just finished eating dinner when Garrus approached her with a plan to lure Liara's attacker into revealing himself.

"Absolutely not, Garrus! I won't put her in more danger," yelled Shepard.

"Shepard, listen, she will be in less danger if we are in control of the situation. Someone will be with her at all times. What happens when she does wake up? Whoever attacked her will be desperate, thinking she will identify them. Who knows what could happen or how many others could be hurt. If they think she's awake now but doesn't remember what happened, they will plan an attack and we'll be ready for them. We need to let the crew know that Liara is awake and recovering then appear to go back to business as usual."

"Just give me a minute to think this through, Garrus."

Shepard took a deep breath and started pacing around her small quarters with Garrus looking on in amusement at how Shepard was, as usual, biting her bottom lip when trying to make a decision.

After several minutes, she turned to Garrus and said, "I will be the one with Liara at all times- no one else. And if something happens to her because of this plan of yours…"

"Commander, nothing will happen to her. I couldn't live with myself if it did. I care for her too. We talked a lot the first few days she was here. I quickly grew to respect her. You know, she's spent most of her life alone off on some dig. Her mother didn't approve of her chosen profession and cut Liara out of her life. She was avoided by other Asari because of her parentage. I feel protective of her and won't let anyone on this ship hurt her again."

Shepard didn't know what to say. How did Garrus know so much about Liara's life? What about her parentage? Why didn't she know these things? Suddenly, she felt angry that Garrus knew things about Liara that she didn't. I can't believe it, thought Shepard. I'm actually jealous.

Shepard wasn't completely convinced that this was the right thing to do but she felt better doing something. "You're right Garrus. Now, let's come up with a plan and figure out who we can trust to help us."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard crouched in the darkness of the small room that had been assigned to Liara. Her eyes moving furtively from the door to the still figure on the bed. This was the third night she had spent hiding in the shadows, adrenaline pumping through her body. After Garrus explained his plan and reasoning to her, they quickly came to the conclusion that Chief Ashley Williams would be the best choice to help them put the plan into action. Ash had been vocal about her dislike of non-human crew members and would be the perfect person to spread the news that Liara was awake but unable to remember exactly what happened to her. Despite Ash's distrust of Liara, Tali, Wrex and Garrus, Shepard knew that she could depend on her. Surprisingly, when she was told that Liara had been attacked and that the attacker had attempted to sexually assault her, Ash was furious and wanted nothing more than to visit untold horrors on the man. Shepard was always in the room with Liara. Garrus was out of sight in a small room across the dining hall watching the med bay doors and Ash was in the med bay hidden behind crates of medical supplies. There was no way the attacker could get by all three of them to get to Liara. She would be safe. As far as the crew knew, the three had taken the shuttle to a small colony to investigate reports that Saren had been there recently. Unfortunately, that meant they couldn't leave their concealment and risk being spotted by the crew. It was hardest for Garrus who was alone and bored. During the day, Shepard and Ash hid out in Liara's room, caught up on sleep and spent many hours getting to know each other better. Shepard found that she liked the young marine. They had colliding viewpoints on many things and their backgrounds couldn't have been more different but they were able to talk and gain an understanding of each other that was previously absent. Shepard took advantage of the times Ash was sleeping to sit by Liara's bed, hold her hand and whisper words of encouragement in her ear. She still didn't know if Liara was aware of her but she needed to try all the same. Hiding in the darkness, she was staring at Liara thinking about a future she would never allow them to have when her comm unit came to life and startled her out of her thoughts.

"Shepard, there's someone approaching the med bay doors. He's definitely trying not to be seen." said Garrus.

"Don't let him out of your sight, Garrus. Ash, be ready and be careful. I want radio silence unless it is absolutely necessary to communicate"

"Aye Aye, Commander." replied Ash.

TTTTTTTTTT

The three waited for what seemed to them like hours but was, in fact, only a few minutes. As the med bay doors slid open, Ash moved to a crouch and watched the man enter the med bay. He looked around suspiciously before moving into the room. Ash had made sure that it was well known that Liara had been moved to her quarters so the man moved directly towards the door at the back of the room. Ash moved around the medical supplies she was hiding behind, gun clutched in her hand and silently made her way toward Liara's door. When the unknown attacker opened the door, Shepard would spring into action and Ash would block his exit. It was difficult to see in the dim light. Ash was waiting to hear the swish of Liara's door sliding open before she rushed forward to help subdue the man. As if the commander will need help taking this guy out. The anger just pours off her in waves when she's thinking about him and what he did to the Asari, thought Ash. Ash heard the med bay door open and knew that Garrus was moving into position behind her. She stood motionless, barely breathing until she heard the door ahead of her open. As she started to move forward, something came down hard across the back of her head and left her in a heap on the floor.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard waited in the shadows of the room like a cat about to pounce on an unsuspecting mouse. Her body was tense and every nerve alive with the adrenalin pumping through her. She spared a quick glance at Liara and felt her anger flare into an inferno. You'll be begging me to kill you before I'm finished, thought Shepard. Shepard's emotions had been out of control since Liara's attack. She had barely slept or eaten in the days since she found Liara's battered body in a pool of blood on the floor. Shepard was thinking, Come on you bastard…open that door so I can tear you apart, just as the doors slid open. She didn't even wait a heartbeat before springing up and over the crate she was behind. The man had just entered the room when Shepard grabbed him and slammed him against the wall with all her strength. She pressed her forearm to his throat and felt some satisfaction when she saw the fear in his eyes- eyes she recognized.

"You..will..PAY..for..what..you..did..to..her, Jackson! WHY- why did you do it?" Shepard enunciated each word and as she did so, applied more pressure against the man's throat. Jackson couldn't respond…could barely breathe through the pressure of Shepard's arm.

Somewhere in Shepard's mind, it registered that Ash should have been there but she was so intent on Jackson that she didn't acknowledge it and didn't hear the other man coming up behind her. She only barely managed to get out of the way of the blow when she saw Jackson's eyes widen. She jumped to the side but was still hammered on her shoulder and sent sprawling to the floor. Her head slammed against the floor by Liara's bed. She was dazed and before she could react, the second man picked her up and threw her across the room. Shepard could feel her shoulder dislocate from the force of hitting the wall. She struggled to her feet just in time to block another blow coming from the unknown man. Where the hell are Ash and Garrus, thought Shepard as she struggled to gain an advantage over her attacker. The man was strong and Shepard was barely holding her own until she glanced toward Liara and saw Jackson standing over Liara's bed removing his hands from around her throat. NOOOOOO, her mind screamed as she somehow found the strength to turn the man and push him face first into the wall. In seconds, his neck was broken and his lifeless body was sliding down the wall. For Shepard, time seemed to slow and she could hear nothing but the pounding of her heart. Her only focus was on stopping Jackson, tearing him apart for hurting Liara.

TTTTTTTTTT

Garrus stood shakily and feeling a bit confused. The last thing he remembered was opening the med bay doors and seeing Chief Williams waiting for the trap to be sprung. Damn, there were two of them, he thought. His eyes moved to where Williams had been standing. She was lying on the floor but starting to stir. He went to her and helped her to her feet before the two of them rushed to Liara's room to find one man dead on the floor and the commander on top of another man slamming her fists into his bloodied face over and over. The man, who both recognized as Ensign Jackson, was obviously unconscious or dead but Shepard kept hitting him.

"Commander," called Garrus. Shepard didn't seem to hear or even be aware they were in the room.

Ash laid her hand against Shepard's back and said, "Commander, you can stop now."There was no response from Shepard.

"Garrus, help me get her off him. If he's still alive, we need to keep him that way so we can question him."

Garrus and Ash moved to either side of Shepard, grabbed her arms and tried to pull her off Jackson. She wrenched her arms free and continued to pound her fists into Jackson's face. Shepard was lost in her anger and grief. She couldn't even feel the pain from her dislocated shoulder. She thought Liara was dead and she needed to make her killer suffer. She could feel hands on her, trying to stop her but she wouldn't let them. She couldn't let them. Jackson took Liara away from her. He took her away and she could never come back. She had just shrugged off a second attempt to pull her off Jackson when she heard a familiar, sweet voice call her name. Liara? It was Liara!


	4. Chapter 4

"Shep…Shepard"

Shepard reacted to that voice immediately. She moved to Liara's bed and grabbed her hand. Liara was awake and her beautiful sea blue eyes were staring at Shepard in confusion.

"Shh…it's okay, Liara. You're safe now."

"Wh… what happened and who is that man? You're bleeding! Commander, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

Shepard turned to Ash and Garrus, tears streaming down her face. "Get those bastards out of this room. One of you go wake Dr. Chakwas and Kaidan. I want them here now. And I want guards at the med bay door. No one gets in here but the two of you, Chakwas & Kaidan."

"Aye commander," said Ash as she pulled the dead man from the room. Garrus nodded, grabbed Ensign Jackson by the ankles and left the room.

Shepard turned her attention back to Liara who was trying to pull herself up using Shepard's injured arm. White hot pain shot up her arm and she couldn't keep the grimace off her face. Liara, whose eyes hadn't left Shepard, immediately let go.

Liara was starting to sound panicked when she said, "Commander, you're hurt! Where is Dr. Chakwas?"

Shepard let Liara's hand go so she could grab a chair. If she didn't sit down soon, she thought she might fall down. She sat down and once again took Liara's hand in hers. She leaned forward so their faces were only inches apart.

"Hey, it's okay now. Everything is okay. I know you're confused. I'll tell you everything as soon as Dr. Chakwas takes a look at you."

"Me! Commander, you have blood, bruises and cuts all over your face and hands. And what is wrong with your arm? Dr. Chakwas needs to take a look at you."

Dr. Chakwas entered the room as Liara was speaking and said, "Yes, Commander. I think that would be a good idea."

In the end, Shepard argued until Dr. Chakwas agreed to examine Liara first. She was still healing and would feel very tired but Dr. Chakwas indicated that she would be fine in a few more days. There were new bruises around her neck but no real damage had been done by Jackson this time. Only then did Shepard agree to let Dr. Chakwas examine her. She asked Ash, whose head was now bandaged thanks to Kaidan, to stay with Liara until she could return.

Shepard looked at Liara and saw the concern and confusion in her eyes. She managed a lopsided grin and said, "Liara, I'm just going into the med bay. I'll be back as soon as Dr. Chakwas is finished having her way with me. Ash will stay with you until then. Let her know if you need anything. I'll explain everything when I get back."

Liara nodded but didn't say anything as Shepard left the room. Ash sat down by the bed praying that the Asari wouldn't ask her any questions. She knew the commander wanted to tell Dr. T'Soni what had happened. Ash glanced at the Asari and saw that her eyes were closed. She breathed a sigh of relief and let her thoughts wander. Wonder what's up with those two? Shepard was totally out of it when Garrus and I got here. We couldn't pull her off Jackson but someone calling her name barely above a whisper can make her stop? Not just anyone though, the Asari. She would have beaten him to death if the Asari hadn't woken up when she did. She was crying! The tough as nails, cold-hearted Commander Shepard was crying. Out of relief that the Asari was awake? Anger? Injuries? Shepard was too tough to cry over her injuries. And Ash knew that Shepard was not as cold and distant as she liked the crew to believe. Ash had spent too many hours over the past few days getting to know her. The woman was strong and wouldn't shy away from making tough choices but Ash suspected that she felt very strongly about the things she had to do and that the only way she could do some of them was turn off her emotions. She couldn't stop those emotions where the Asari…where Dr. T'Soni was concerned, it seemed. If the commander trusts her, then that's good enough for me. Ashley glanced at Dr. T'Soni and thought, And she trusts me to keep Dr. T'Soni safe. Huh, feels pretty damn good to have the trust of Shepard.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara closed her eyes as soon as Shepard was out of the room. She didn't want to talk to Chief Williams. She had heard some of the comments the woman seemed to be constantly making out of earshot of the commander. She didn't like non-humans on the crew and she especially didn't want Liara, whose mother was working with Saren, aboard the Normandy. None of the crew trust me…none of them except Shepard, thought Liara. Why do they judge me because of my mother? I would never…Oh Goddess! Someone attacked me, tried to kill me! He thought I would betray the Commander to Saren. Why can't I remember? Think Liara! He had a syringe and injected something into my arm. He was tearing my clothes off. Goddess, what did he do to me? He was ripping my clothes off and I couldn't fight him anymore. No, no, no, no… Goddess, why? Why did you let him do it? Shepard was there…she found me and I remember being held in her arms, feeling safe with her then nothing until now. How long ago? Was that the man Shepard was fighting? She knows…she knows what he did to me and now she'll never give me a chance. Liara's face burned with shame and tears were leaking from her eyes when she turned her head away from Chief Williams.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was anxious to get back to Liara. She was worried that Liara would remember what happened and she wanted to be there for her. She allowed Dr. Chakwas to examine her and treat her wounds and quickly put Garrus in charge of Jackson. She absolutely refused to allow him to be treated in the med bay. Garrus assured her that Jackson would be moved immediately. When Shepard looked at him, she felt nothing but pity. She had nearly killed him with her bare hands and in doing so had released her anger at him. Now, she just wanted him out her sight. She then talked to Kaidan about making arrangements to have guards posted outside the med bay around the clock. Shepard looked around to make sure her orders were being followed and decided that it was time to get back to Liara. Thinking that Liara might be hungry, she made a quick trip to the dining hall to pick up some food before making a beeline for back to the med bay. When she walked into the room, Liara's head was turned away from the door and she seemed to be sleeping. Ash was on her feet, weapon in hand, as soon as she heard the door opening.

"Whoa, Ash. It's just me."

"Sorry, Commander. I'm still a little on edge and don't want to take any chances with Dr. T'Soni's safety after what happened tonight."

Shepard didn't know what to say. She was well aware of Ash's feelings toward the non-human crew, especially Liara. She suddenly felt an overwhelming gratitude towards Ash. She turned her back on Ash to place the tray of food on the table and to hide the tears that were forming. God, I'm an emotional wreck.

"Thanks, Ash. I knew she would be in good hands with you. Now, you need to go get some rest."

"Goodnight, Commander."

Ash made her way to the door then turned back to see Shepard settled in the chair holding Dr. T'Soni's hand in hers. She shook her head and smiled as the door closed behind her.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard jerked awake when she heard Liara cry out. She was on her feet in an instant searching the room for threats. Liara cried out again and Shepard realized that she was having a nightmare. She was starting to move around violently as if she was pushing someone off her.

"Hey, hey…it's okay, Liara. You're okay. You're okay now. Nobody can hurt you. You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you again."Shepard gently shook Liara's shoulder to wake her.

Liara opened her panic stricken eyes and struggled to get away from Shepard. Shepard held on to her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Shh…Liara, it's Shepard. You're okay."

"Commander?"

When Liara realized that it was Shepard holding her, she collapsed against her chest, clinging to her, and sobbed. Shepard tightened her hold and felt guilty because it felt so damn good to hold Liara in her arms.

"You're okay… just let it out. It was just a nightmare."

"I remember what happened, Commander. It was not just a nightmare," Liara choked out between sobs. "I am not okay. I will never be okay again."

"Liara, listen to me. You are strong…too strong to let that bastard make you feel this way. You're in shock right now. For you, it's like it just happened. Give yourself time."

"What do you mean for me it is like it just happened? How long has it been?"

"Ten days"

"Goddess, I've been unconscious for ten days. Commander, I do not remember everything. You have to tell me. Who were those men?"

Shepard sighed and closed her eyes. She was hoping to wait until Liara was more emotionally prepared to hear everything. "Liara, that can wait until tomorrow. You just need to focus on getting better now. You need…"

"Commander! I know what I need! I need to know what happened to me. Please, tell me. Do not treat me like I am too fragile to hear the truth."

Shepard's shoulders slumped in defeat, "Okay… I brought some food. Are you hungry? Do you want to eat first?"

"No thank you, Commander. I just want to know what happened."

Shepard sat on the edge of the bed and told Liara how she found her in the dining hall unconscious and bleeding. She told her the basics of her injuries and about the sedative she had been injected with but assured her that Dr. Chakwas would talk to her more about her injuries tomorrow. Shepard didn't mention the attempted sexual assault and hoped that Liara wouldn't remember. She then told her about Garrus' plan to catch the attacker and all that had happened earlier.

Liara listened with a blank expression on her face but her mind was in turmoil. She did not mention that my clothes were torn off me…what he did to me. Does she know? Goddess, please don't let her know. What will she think of me if she knows? How could I let that happen? Liara realized that Shepard was no longer talking. She focused her attention on the commander and lost herself when she looked into her emerald eyes. She started to shake and her tears came pouring out like a raging river that had just broken through a dam. She reached for Shepard and held on tight. She feels so good. Goddess, I want this every day. Why! Why did this happen to me? I never had a chance with her and now I never will.

"Liara, hey, he won't hurt you again. I'm here, Liara. I'll do my best to keep anyone from hurting you ever again. I promise."

At Shepard's words, Liara seemed to relax but she still had a death grip on Shepard who moved onto the bed and pulled Liara close to her side. Liara's head was on Shepard's chest and her arms were wound around her body. Shepard gently stroked her face and laid her cheek against Liara's forehead. Both women cherished every second of the contact and both thought it would be the first and only time they would hold the other.

TTTTTTTTTT

Several hours later, Liara woke to find herself alone in the bed. Shepard was asleep in a chair with her legs sprawled out in front of her. Liara took in every inch of her and smiled shyly when she thought about falling asleep wrapped in Shepard's arms. She looks so much younger when she sleeps, more peaceful. She spent several minutes just watching Shepard sleep and feeling regret that she wouldn't have another night to fall asleep in those protective did feel much better. The initial shock of the attack had worn off and she felt more rested, more capable of dealing with what had happened to her. Shepard was right. I did need to rest. And it didn't hurt to have my own living, breathing pillow to keep that nightmare at bay. Time to get up and get back to my life now. Before Liara's feet hit the floor, Shepard's eyes flew open.

"I am sorry, Commander. I did not mean to wake you. Thank you for telling me what happened; against your better judgment and thank you for…well, for everything."

Shepard stood and lowered her face to hide the blush she could feel spreading across her face."Are you feeling better?"

"I am. I think you were right when you said that I needed to rest. I would like to talk with Dr. Chakwas then resume my work for you and the mission."

Shepard was taken aback, how could this be the same person that fell apart so completely last night? She's stronger than anyone thinks.

"Good… that's good. I'm glad that you're feeling better. I don't want you to push it. Let's wait to hear what Dr. Chakwas says about returning to your work. And Liara… we've been through quite a bit and I think you should stop calling me Commander."

"Of course, Shepard. Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

For the first time in almost two weeks, Shepard was in her own cabin, in her own bed and finding it impossible to stop her thoughts from racing each other around her brain. Currently, Liara was in the lead but the mystery of why Ensign Jackson had attacked Liara was a close second and gaining. It had been two days since Liara was released from medical. Shepard was too anxious to leave her alone the previous night so ended up sleeping in a chair in the med bay just outside Liara's door. Shepard had stopped by to check on her briefly throughout the day but had kept those visits short and focused only on how Liara was feeling and her work. For Shepard, keeping her walls up and her mask in place with Liara was one of the hardest things she had ever asked of herself. She wanted nothing more than to walk up to Liara, wrap her arms around her and never let her go. She had rarely gotten what she wanted in life and this would be no exception. She wouldn't do that to Liara. She had to squeeze her eyes closed tight to stop the tears that were always on the verge of falling when she thought about life without Liara. That's enough of that, Shepard. Think about something else… anything else. Think about Jackson and why he did what he did.

Ensign Jackson was still unconscious and Dr. Chakwas was concerned that he would stay that way after the beating he took from Shepard. His personal belongings had been searched but they found nothing out of the ordinary. The unknown man Shepard killed was an even bigger mystery. He wasn't part of the crew and he had never been seen on the Normandy until that night. No one knew how he got on board or where he had been hiding. Shepard had the Normandy searched from top to bottom, every inch of it, three times to insure there was no one else. She had also arranged for Liara to have a guard around the clock. She smiled at the memory of Liara's reaction when she found out earlier in the day, Maybe she is interested in me but that only makes it harder to stay away.

"Shepard, I don't need a guard. Trust me when I say that I will not allow a repeat of what I let… of what Ensign Jackson did… to me. I am capable of taking care of myself."

"Okay, then do it for my peace of mind… just for a few days until we know there are no more threats. Look, it won't be so bad. Garrus, Tali, Ash, Kaidan and Wrex have all volunteered. Don't think of it so much as having a guard as getting to know the team better." C'mon, Liara, she thought.

"Really… does that mean that you will also be part of my "guard", Shepard? I would like to talk to you more… about the visions from the beacon, I mean." Liara could feel herself blushing and knew from the tiny grin forming on Shepard's face that she could see it too.

Shepard wanted to be Liara's only "guard", to have an excuse to be around her all the time but that couldn't happen. "No, Liara. We should arrive at Feros by morning and I'll be taking a team down to investigate Saren's recent visit. I'll take Ash and Wrex with me."

"Oh, I see. Shepard, I would like to accompany you, if you feel that you can trust me. I know that must be hard with my mother…"

"Liara, stop right there. I don't care who your mother is or what she has done. You are not your mother and I trusted you the moment I met you."

"Oh"

"However, I don't think you should be part of any mission so soon after what happened. Maybe next time, okay? Now, I need to get back to work. Ash will be here soon and Garrus will be nearby tonight."

"Of course, you are right. I should get back to work as well," said Liara with sadness in her voice.

Shepard turned back before stepping through the doorway. "Liara, are you okay? Did you talk with Dr. Chakwas? It's not a sign of weakness to need to talk to others about things we've been through." Right, Shepard. You follow that advice all the time. How many things have you never uttered aloud?

"I am fine, Commander. I will talk with Dr. Chakwas if it is needed. Thank you for your concern." Why won't you talk to me Shepard?

Shepard felt a little ache at the coolness in Liara's voice but it was for the best and what needed to happen.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara couldn't decide if she was angry at Shepard or at herself- both, she finally decided. After all, it was her fault that Ensign Jackson was able to do what he did to her. She should have seen the risk and used her biotics the second he laid a hand on her. And Shepard! Why was she being so, so business like? Liara had thought that maybe she would at least find a friend in Shepard. She wanted more, wanted everything with the woman but she didn't think that was possible now. She knew how the humans viewed what happened to her. She had hoped that Shepard wouldn't feel that way but it seemed that she did. The woman is infuriating. She thinks that I need someone to protect me, that I am weak and useless. Liara's anger was building and, without realizing it, she was causing quite a commotion as she slammed things on her desk and mumbled angrily to herself.

Ash knocked on Dr. T'Soni's door but when she heard banging noises from the room, she forgot manners and barged into the room to find Dr. T'Soni rearranging everything on her desk- very loudly.

"Um…excuse me, Dr. T'Soni."

Liara turned to see Chief Williams staring at her with a puzzled look on her face and realized what she had been doing. Goddess, why am I always making a fool of myself.

Liara couldn't stifle her anger and spoke harsher than she intended, "Chief Williams, the commander said you would be here to guard me."

Ash was a bit surprised at Dr. T'Soni's anger. Granted, she had not known her long but she had never seen the Asari be anything but shy and reserved. "That's not exactly true, Dr. T'Soni. The commander is concerned and wants to make sure you're safe after what happened. She would do the same for any member of the crew."

That's the problem. I don't want to just be part of the crew to her, thought Liara. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and do not need the commander assigning me babysitters."

"Dr. T'Soni, I am not meant to be a babysitter. You went through a great deal of trauma and we still don't why you were attacked or if there are others involved. The commander merely thought it would be best if you were accompanied by someone in case there is another attack. The two of us are stronger together than either of us alone."

"Yes, well, if the commander thinks so then we cannot disappoint her."

Ash, hoping to calm things down, continued, "She also thought you might need someone to talk to about what happened. I know that we aren't friends and I haven't been very nice to you since you joined the team but I would like to correct my mistakes and start over. Sometimes, it helps to talk to someone you don't know very well."

Liara was touched by what Chief Williams said but that was overpowered by her anger that Shepard refused to talk with her about what happened but expected her to talk to others. She did need to talk to someone about what happened, badly. She wanted that person to be Shepard.

"If Shepard wants me to talk about what happened, why is she avoiding me? Why won't she talk to me," yelled Liara. "It is because of what happened… what he did to me. Because I allowed it to happen." All of her anger at Shepard, at herself, at Jackson was unleashed at Chief Williams.

"Dr. T'Soni, I can't speak for Commander Shepard, although I know she would agree, but I don't think you allowed anything to happen. What happened to you was not your fault. It was Ensign Jackson's fault and it was wrong."

Liara's anger was draining out of her, leaving her exhausted and in tears. "Then why won't she talk to me? I did not want to be with Jackson… in that way. I do not understand why Shepard is angry at me."

Ash looked at Dr. T'Soni and didn't quite know what to say. "Wait, what do you mean, in that way? Do you remember everything that happened, Dr. T'Soni?"

"I, no, I do not. The last thing I remember is him… touching me and ripping my clothes."

"Dr. T'Soni, he didn't… you weren't with him in that way. Didn't Dr. Chakwas talk to you about this?"

"I do not understand… I remember… I knew what he was going to do. Are you saying that he didn't?"

"He didn't rape you, Dr. T'Soni. Dr. Chakwas did a complete examination when the commander brought you to the med bay."

Liara sagged in relief and had to catch herself on the table. "Goddess, I thought that he did. I was sure and then Shepard did not mention it when she filled in the gaps in my memory. I thought that she knew and was angry at me for allowing it to happen. I thought she was ashamed of me."

Ash quickly closed the distance between herself and Dr. T'Soni who looked like she was about to crumble to the floor. She placed her arm around Liara and guided her to the nearest chair, "I think you need to sit down, Dr. T'Soni."

Liara's voice was shaky and barely above a whisper, "Then why, why is she so distant since the night she stayed with me, the night I woke up? I thought she cared about me."

"Dr. T'Soni, Commander Shepard cares about you a great deal. She was terrified that you wouldn't wake up. Did she tell you that she stayed with you every night? She barely left this room and when she did, it was only for brief periods of time. I've seen the way she looks at you, Dr. T'Soni. You are very important to her."

Liara listened with her head down, her hands in her lap. She was afraid to hope that what she was hearing was true. She was more afraid to think that it wasn't true. The need she felt for Shepard was starting to consume her. There's only one way to find out, she thought.

"Thank you, Chief Williams. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to find Commander Shepard."

"Dr. T'Soni, I meant what I said about wanting to start over. So, please stop with the Chief Williams and call me Ashley.

Liara inclined her head to Ash, "Ashley, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Liara."

The two women stood facing each other briefly until Liara turned away to go in search of her future.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard was trying so very hard to concentrate on the Feros mission. Success, however, was hard to find. Liara, it seemed, had moved in and made herself quite comfortable in Shepard's mind. Focus, Shepard! You're going to get yourself or someone else killed tomorrow if you continue to behave like a teenager with their first crush. Throwing the data pad on her desk, she decided to take a walk down to engineering to talk with Tali. Shepard left her quarters and without realizing it, found herself walking toward the med bay. Head out of ass, Shepard. Now. Changing direction, she made her way to engineering, Commander Shepard mask firmly in place. She surveyed the engineering crew at work for several minutes and was pleased to see that they were treating Tali just like one of the crew. After Liara was attacked, she was concerned that the other non-human crew members might be at risk but it seemed that Liara was the only target.

"Tali, do you have a minute?"

"Oh, Commander Shepard, of course. What can I do for you," asked Tali nervously. She was young and had only just started her pilgrimage before joining Shepard on the Normandy. She was inexperienced with life outside the flotilla and was somewhat intimidated by the enigmatic woman standing in front of her.

"I wanted to check in to see how you're doing and I wanted to ask a favor of you. It looks like you're fitting in well with the crew."

"Yes, the crew has treated me very well and made me feel welcome. I have never worked on such a ship, Commander. It is incredible and I am learning things I can take back to the flotilla that will improve performance." Tali felt self-conscious and knew she was talking too much. "You mentioned a favor," asked Tali.

"I did. First, I want to thank you for volunteering to keep an eye on Liara tomorrow. She's not exactly happy about it but try to be patient with her. Now, as for the favor," Shepard looked around to make sure no one could hear their conversation. "We still don't know who is behind the attack on Liara. I will be off the ship tomorrow and have concerns that something may happen. I also have suspicions about some of the crew and I want to know that if something goes wrong tomorrow, with me or on board the Normandy that both Liara and the Normandy are safe. Officially, Pressly is CO when I'm gone but if Kaidan tells you something, even if it contradicts Pressly, listen to him and help him."

Tali was shocked that Shepard was putting so much trust in her, shocked and proud. "Commander Shepard, I am honored that you would ask this of me and I won't let you down."

"I know I can count on you, Tali. I will be having this same conversation with Garrus, Kaidan, and Joker. If something happens tomorrow, the four of you and Liara need to stick together. Thank you, Tali."

Shepard went to Kaidan, Garrus, and Joker to ask the same thing of them. She would inform Wrex, Liara and Ash before leaving tomorrow. All readily agreed and Shepard was feeling more confident about being off the ship tomorrow. She reached her quarters, opened the door and stepped inside to find Liara pacing the floor.

"Liara, what are you doing here?" I really don't think I should be alone with her, it's too hard. "I mean, can I help you? Where's Ash? She's supposed to be with you."

Liara swallowed the lump in her throat and said, "Ashley and I have worked that out. I would like to talk with you, Shepard."

Ashley? What the hell happened? They don't even like…oh, no. "Liara, is Ash okay?"

"Yes, Shepard. Ashley is fine. Now, can we talk, please?"

"Um, sure. Why don't we go have dinner while we talk," Shepard replied nervously as she moved toward the door.

Liara smiled seeing the look on Shepard's face. She is afraid to talk to me. Go easy, Liara. "No, Shepard. I want to talk to you in private. Please, Shepard. It is important that we talk."

Shepard squared her shoulders, warily moved back into the room and faced Liara. "Okay, what would you like to discuss?"

"I would like to discuss… us. From the moment I met you, I have felt a connection with you. It is not something I have ever felt before and it is not something I can explain. It is very confusing to me and it frightens me that I want…that I need to be near you, to be a part of your life. I need to know if you feel this too, Shepard." Liara took a deep breath and raised her eyes to stare into Shepard's.

Shepard lowered her gaze and sighed. Her heart was trying to pound its way out of her chest. I could lie to her. It would be best for her if I lie and tell her that there is nothing between us. It would be the biggest lie of my life. She raised her eyes back to Liara's and when she saw the fear and hope warring with each other, she was lost.

"Yes."

Relief flooded Liara. It is amazing that such a simple word can change everything and make me feel so alive, she thought. She lowered her gaze feeling suddenly very shy and embarrassed. "I am… I do not know what to say now except that I am very happy, Shepard."

Shepard, moving closer to Liara, took a deep breath to steady herself and slowly lifted Liara's chin until she was staring into those amazing blue eyes. "Yes a million times over," she said as she lowered her lips to Liara's. Cupping Liara's face in her hands, Shepard poured all the want, need and longing she felt for Liara into the kiss. Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard's waist and pressed herself against her body. The kiss ended, leaving both women taking ragged breaths. Shepard brushed her lips against Liara's cheek and whispered, "Yes, Liara."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was alone in her cabin feeling both exhausted and exhilarated. She was grinning like a giddy schoolgirl and felt like she was about to burst out of her skin. She and Liara had talked for several hours. They talked about the attack and Shepard was able to open up with Liara about how she felt when she thought Liara might not wake. She hoped that someday soon she would be able to talk about her past, about things that she had never spoken about with another person. She was not ready for that yet. She had spent too many years keeping everything inside and it would take some time for those things to come out. Shepard felt terrible that Liara thought Jackson had raped her. She knew that it was, in part, her fault for not being open and honest with Liara when she told her about the attack. She wouldn't make that mistake again. She had wanted Liara to stay with her but Liara had, understandably, asked for more time and they both had decided that the mission was too important to start a relationship now. There would be time once Saren was finished. Both had made promises to the other that they planned to keep. Shepard wanted to get to living those promises sooner rather than later. She wasn't about to let some asshole like Saren stand in her way. With luck, she would find something on Feros tomorrow that would give her more insight into what Saren was planning. Knowing that tomorrow would be long day; Shepard went to bed and miraculously fell asleep quickly.

The next morning, she met with Liara, Ash and Wrex and explained her concerns about leaving Pressly in charge of the Normandy and her discussions with Tali, Garrus, Kaidan and Joker the previous day. After checking weapons and armor, Shepard put Pressly in charge and prepared to leave. The rest of the team was waiting to see them off and, in the case of Garrus, offer advice about the most effective and entertaining ways to kill Geth.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara felt a constricting tightness in her chest at the thought of Shepard being in danger. She wanted to be part of today's team. When they talked last night, Shepard told her that this was partly the reason she didn't want to admit her feelings to Liara, didn't want to pull her into a life filled with danger and the possibility of death on every mission. Liara just realized, now that she was faced with it, how difficult this was going to be for her. Her anxiety getting the best of her, she walked up to Shepard, grabbed her hand and simply said, "Come back." Shepard gave her hand a squeeze and was gone.

Now, here she was in the comm center with Tali staring at the screens monitoring the team's vital signs. It was a revelation when Tali, frustrated with Liara's pacing and nervous energy, suggested they go to the comm center to listen to the communications from the team. Liara's eyes had been glued to the monitor showing Shepard's vitals and twice Tali had to stop her from communicating with the team after Shepard's heart rate was off the charts during particularly difficult exchanges with the Geth. The team was now descending some stairs previously concealed by an old freighter looking for a plant, something called the Thorian, which was somehow controlling the minds of the colonists.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard, Ash and Wrex were splattered with gore and blood as they made their way through the subterranean maze. They had killed countless creepers, several of the Asari clones and destroyed many of the neural nodes. Ash and Shepard were exhausted and nearing the end of their endurance. Shepard had been shot at least once during one of the fights with the Geth and had too many bruises and cuts on her body to count. Wrex, on the other hand, was rejuvenated every time he killed something. They neared the next node and were facing another mindless group of creepers when Shepard was hit with spray from one of them. It was like acid eating through her armor and burning her skin. She fought her way through to the neural node and destroyed it. Once the thing was finally dead, an Asari emerged from a pod and explained that she had followed Benezia to Saren. Benezia had been trying to stop Saren and underestimated him. He was somehow controlling those who followed him and they were completely powerless to stop him. She told Shepard that Saren had several members of the Normandy crew under his control. She didn't know who they were or how Shepard could find them. Shepard's heart clenched when she realized that she had left Liara on the Normandy with people who would, most certainly, try to kill her again. The Asari, Shiala, was brought to Feros by Saren to meld with the Thorian to recover its memories of the Protheans. She then explained the history of the Thorian to them. She told them that because of its life span of hundreds of thousands of years, it had a unique understanding of the Protheans, their culture, knowledge and common experiences, the Thorian acted as a cipher and would help Shepard better understand the images given to her by the beacon on Eden Prime. Shiala had given Saren the cipher and he had left her to suffer as a thrall to the Thorian. She offered to meld with Shepard to give her the information she had given Saren. Shepard readily agreed because she needed this if she was going to stop Saren. And I will stop him. The stakes are much higher today than they were yesterday. I have promises to keep today that I didn't have yesterday. She wasn't expecting the enormity of the information or the effect it would have on her in her current condition. When she was released from the meld, Shepard was shaken and very confused. She was swaying on her feet and Ash barely caught her when she blacked out.


	7. Chapter 7

Back on the Normandy in the comm. Center, Liara had just experienced jealousy for the first time and decided that it was not pleasant. How dare that Asari suggest Shepard meld with her!

Liara was trying to figure out how to actually use the equipment to communicate with the team. "Tali, she can't meld. She is too weak. We have to stop her! How does this thing work?"

Tali moved to Liara's side and showed her how to use the equipment but before Liara could try to stop her, Shepard was already melding with the Asari. Her vital signs were up and down and the monitor was beeping frantically. Liara knew that it would be impossible to reach Shepard during the meld and continued to watch the monitor with a growing sense of panic. Ash's voice cut through the silence in the comm center a few minutes later. Shepard was unconscious, her heartbeat was erratic and she wasn't responding to Ash.

Liara opened the communications channel the team was using. "Shepard! Wake up and get back to the ship. Do you hear me, Shepard? Get back here this minute! Shepard! Wrex, you get her back here right now!"

Shepard was jolted awake when Liara's voice cut through the fogginess in her mind. Despite hurting over every inch of her body, she had to smile. "You heard her, Wrex… double time, mister," said Shepard in a weak voice.

"She's awake now Liara," said Ash relieved. "We're heading back to the Normandy"

TTTTTTTTTT

Several hours later, the Normandy had left Feros and Liara was sitting in the med bay beside a sleeping Shepard. Dr. Chakwas had taken care of her injuries and given her medication for the pain. She had been sleeping since returning to the Normandy. Liara's knees almost buckled when she saw Shepard's condition as Wrex carried her through the door. She had looked so fragile in the big Krogan's arms. He had walked right up to Liara holding Shepard in his arms and said, "As requested, Dr. T'Soni." He then carried Shepard to the med bay with Liara on his heels. Ashley was sleeping in a bed nearby. While her injuries were not as severe, she was pretty banged up. Wrex had escaped their encounter with hardly a scratch and had been in to check on both Shepard and Ashley several times since returning to the Normandy. He had also talked to Garrus about what the Asari, Shiala, had told them concerning members of the crew being controlled by Saren. Garrus and Kaidan were going over security measures and waiting for Shepard to give them further instructions. Liara settled into her chair to wait for Shepard to wake up.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was slowly waking from the drug induced sleep but couldn't quite make her eyes open just yet. Might be a good thing, she thought. If my body hurts this much, I probably don't want to see what it looks like anyway.

"Shepard, can you hear me."

Shepard moved her head in the direction of the voice. Liara… gotta get these eyes open to see her.

"It's Liara. You're back on the Normandy. Can you hear me? Are you awake?"

She could feel Liara's hand stroking her hair and knew that beautiful face was just on the other side of her uncooperative eyelids. Okay, try again.

"Tali, maybe you should get Dr. Chakwas. There might be something wrong. Maybe she is in pain and needs more medication."

Just need to see you, Liara. "Mm… awake."

"Shepard… you are in the med bay. Tali went to get Dr. Chakwas. Can you open your eyes?"

I can open them for you. Shepard's face was twisted into a grimace from the effort she was putting in to opening her eyes.

"Oh, Shepard, are you in pain?" Liara was anxious for Dr. Chakwas to get there. She hated to see the pain written so clearly on Shepard's face.

"Not anymore," Shepard managed to get out in a whisper as she finally opened her eyes to see Liara's face inches from her own.

"Shepard, how are you feeling? Dr. Chakwas says you are going to be okay in a few days. You just need to rest. She will be here to check on you soon."

Shepard managed a grin for Liara and said, "She'll just spoil our alone time."

Ash cleared her throat in a nearby bed. "Sorry, Commander. Your alone time is already spoiled."

"Ash, you okay? Is Wrex in here too?"

"I'm fine. Doctor Chakwas is just being cautious. Wrex didn't even get a scratch. The big brute keeps coming in to check on you though."

"Ashley, Wrex is not a big brute. He has been very concerned. He carried you all the way back to the Normandy, Shepard."

"Dr. T'Soni," said Shepard, "I don't think you gave him much choice."

"Yes, well, you were in trouble, Shepard," stammered Liara. "I was not with you so it was all I could do to get you back here safely. Did I offend Wrex? I knew he would be able to carry you."

Shepard's eyes lost focus as she thought about the amazing woman standing in front of her. She let herself feel all those emotions she had kept bottled up since she first met Liara. It was terrifying, overwhelming and wonderful. She doesn't want anything from me. She just wants me, wants to protect me. She also let herself feel all the fear she had learned to embrace to keep her safe, the fear of letting herself love someone again, the fear of being betrayed & hurt, the fear of losing everything again. She felt the fear and then she let it go. It wouldn't rule her life anymore.

"Shepard, are you okay? What's wrong," asked Liara.

Shepard's eyes focused on Liara as she took her hand and pulled it to her heart. "I'm okay… just feeling thankful."

TTTTTTTTTT

Dr. Chakwas examined Shepard and told her that she would need to be in bed for at least a couple of days and, as usual, Shepard insisted that she needed to work. Shepard won the battle and would be allowed to return to her quarters to finish her recuperation after she ate "a sensible meal" and her bandages were changed. She also had to promise that she would stay in bed for the next two days. Liara had accompanied Ash to her quarters and hadn't returned yet so Shepard was feeling a little bored. She was still amazed that the two women seemed to be forming a bond. After too many minutes of staring at the ceiling, Shepard called for one the med bay guards to find Garrus and Kaidan and ask them to come to see her. When they arrived, Shepard talked with them about security measures and ways that they could potentially find out which, if any, crew members were under Saren's control. Unfortunately, there was no way to know until they attacked. Shepard couldn't afford to trust anyone other than her non-human crew, Ash, Kaidan, Joker and Dr. Chakwas which would make things very difficult. She couldn't even trust the two guards standing outside the med bay doors. Shepard insisted that they all be armed from now on even on board the Normandy. Garrus would discreetly install surveillance equipment in unexpected areas and maybe they would get lucky. Once the three of them had developed a plan to watch each other's back, Shepard asked Garrus and Kaidan to meet with everyone else and keep them informed. The two left and Shepard was, once again, left alone with her thoughts. She didn't want to believe that any of the crew could be working with Saren but that would explain the attack on Liara. How will I keep her safe when I don't even know where the threat will come from or when it might come? Why her? Because Saren fears she might get through to Benezia? Because of her knowledge of the Protheans? Where is she anyway?

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara had helped Ash get settled then made her way to Shepard's cabin. She didn't really know why she was there other than she wanted to make it nice for Shepard. Shepard kept everything in its place and was not one to leave a mess but it just seemed so bare. There was nothing of Shepard in the place. Liara wanted to make if feel more like home. Of course, she had very few resources and there were no plans for the Normandy to dock for a shopping trip anytime soon. I will just do the best I can and add things later. She started by getting clean bedding on the bed and adding a quilt that she found in Shepard's closet. It was a little worse for wear but it added some color and personality to the room. She also found paper in the desk drawer which surprised her since data pads were used for everything and paper was hard to come by. She took one sheet and cut it into smaller pieces. She then wrote little notes to Shepard and placed them around the room in places where she knew Shepard would eventually find them. She also placed an artifact she had discovered at one of her many Prothean dig sites on the nightstand. It was nothing useful, just part of some larger sculpture but she hoped that it would make Shepard think of her.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara walked into the med bay to find Shepard arguing, once again, with Dr. Chakwas. She was trying to get out of the bed and demanding her clothes.

To her credit, Dr. Chakwas was remaining calm in the face of Shepard's most fearsome scowl. "Commander, do I need to remind you that I do have the authority, as the Normandy's Medical Officer, to relieve you of command for medical reasons?"

"But…

"Get back in the bed and eat your dinner, Commander. Then we will change your bandages and you can go to your quarters."

Amazingly, Shepard complied but not without some grumbling about being treated like a child.

Liara was smiling as she walked toward the bed. "Shepard, are you being difficult? Dr. Chakwas is only looking out for your well-being."

Shepard looked up and felt all of the anxiety draining out of her. Her imagination had been working overtime and she was sure that Liara was in trouble. She wanted to leave the med bay to make sure she was okay.

"Hey, there you are. Did you get Ash settled?"

"Yes, she is settled but, like you, eager to get back to work. Shepard, why were you trying to leave? You need to rest and let yourself heal while you can. Soon enough you will be on another mission and you should let your body heal before you go out and abuse it again."

"Oh, that's funny, Liara. I was worried about you. You were gone for so long. After what Shiala told us about Saren controlling some of the crew, I wanted to make sure you were okay." Shepard was feeling insecure, though she would never admit it. "Where were you?"

Liara could sense that the question was more than mere curiosity . "It is something that I would like to share with you once you are in your quarters. Is it okay to wait until then?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. Guess I should eat my dinner before Dr. Chakwas changes her mind about letting me go."

"I have not eaten. If we share, it would be finished quicker and we could get you back to your quarters. I can get us more to eat later. We can talk while we eat."

Shepard smiled and tried to push those old insecurities out of her mind. They had nothing to do with Liara. She was feeling some pain from her injuries and it was making her moody. She offered Liara a bite of the unrecognizable mass on her plate and said, "What would you like to talk about?"

"I am embarrassed to admit this to you. It is something that I have never felt before and it was not pleasant. I did not like it when that Asari, Shiala, melded with you." Liara could feel herself blushing. "I know that you had to do it but it was too dangerous for you in your weakened state and it makes me angry that she would risk your life. If I see her, I will let her know how angry it makes me. I...I do not want other Asari to meld with you, Shepard. It makes me feel… jealous. I am sorry if this angers you. I know that I do not have the right to…"

"Liara. Thank you. It doesn't make me angry with you." Just like that those insecurities are smashed to bits. "You have every right."

Liara looked up at Shepard's words to see some very emotional green eyes starting back at her. "Why are you thanking me, Shepard?"

"Because you are amazing. Now, let's finish this food so I can get out of here."

TTTTTTTTTT

Dr. Chakwas finally allowed Shepard to leave the med bay but not before making sure she took more pain medication. The fact that Shepard took it without arguing was indicative of the amount of pain she must be feeling. They walked through Shepard's doorway and Shepard stopped, staring at the quilt on her bed. Liara could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Shepard, I am sorry. I wanted to make it more comfortable in here for you. I found the quilt in your closet. Why does it upset you?"

"The quilt…it was my mother's. It's the only thing I had left when they took me to the orphanage. I remember her wrapping me up in it when I was very young."

"Shepard, I am sorry. I will put it back in your closet."

Before Liara could get to the bed, Shepard took hold of her arm and said, "It's okay, leave it. It's about time I used it. I've carried it all over the galaxy for years. It's a miracle it even survived my childhood."

"Do you want to talk about it, your childhood, I mean? I would like to know about your life."

Shepard looked at Liara, the concern in her eyes and the little furrow in her forehead. "Yes, I would like to tell you about my childhood…about my life. Can you be patient with me for a little while?"

"Of course, I will be patient for as long as you need. Now let's get you to bed." Liara helped Shepard, who was starting to feel the effects of the pain medication, to her bed.

"Liara, thank you. I appreciate that you wanted to do this for me. Is this why you took so long after leaving with Ash?'

"Yes, I wanted to do more but an Alliance warship is not the best place to find suitable room decorations unless you wish to have a weapons wall. Are you in pain?"

Shepard plastered a smile on her face, "No, I'm fine. I don't know why the doc insisted I take more pain medication. I need to be alert. We have crew members that could pose a danger to everyone on board the Normandy. Especially you, Liara. I think we need to talk about your safety and try to figure out who is working with Saren. I don't think you should be alone at least not at night."

Shepard's eyes were starting to look a little dazed and she was obviously fighting to keep them open. "We will talk about this tomorrow. I am going to get more food so you can eat before you fall asleep. I will be right back."

Liara left the room and Shepard let her eyes close. She was in more pain than she would ever admit to anyone. Just a few minutes. Shepard fell asleep thinking about how much her life would change now that Liara was part of it. Soon after, she was abruptly awakened by the sound of the Normandy's security alarms blaring and screams just outside her door. "Liara!"


	8. Chapter 8

Liara had just gotten a tray of food and some of that beverage Shepard liked to drink, coffee. She did not like the bitter taste of it but Shepard acted as if she could not live without it. She was on her way back to Shepard's cabin when the security alarms started. She looked around in confusion and saw smoke pouring into the dining area. There were people crowding the area trying to figure out what was happening. "Shepard!" She dropped the tray of food and ran to Shepard's quarters.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was out of her bed and searching her quarters for her gun. There was smoke pouring in and she could barely see. She was also feeling the effects of the pain medication and wasn't thinking clearly. Before she could find the gun, someone slammed into her, knocked her to the floor and pinned her down. She brought her knee up and pushed it into his groin with all her strength. He fell to the side and Shepard pulled herself back to her feet. The man was up before she could get away and grabbed her from behind, taking her back down to the floor. Shepard saw him raise his hand above his head and a glint of silver as he thrust his arm down toward her heart.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara ran through Shepard's door and had to pull up short to get her bearings. There was more smoke here than in the dining area. She moved slowly towards the bed thinking the Shepard was sleeping due to the pain medication. As she neared the bed, she could tell that it was empty.

"Shepard! Where are you?"

The man holding Shepard stopped the downward motion of his arm and turned at the sound of Liara's voice. "Run Liara," Shepard yelled. The man focused his attention back on Shepard, wanting to push his knife through her heart. Just as the tip of the blade pierced Shepard's skin, Liara's biotic assault picked him and threw him across the room with such force that he was dead instantly.

Liara ran to Shepard's side and pulled her head into her lap. "Shepard! Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm okay. What happened? Help me up."

Liara wrapped her arm around Shepard's waist to help her stand and could feel the blood running down the front of her body. "Shepard, you're bleeding."

The smoke was starting to clear from the room and the security alarms were now quiet. "It's okay. It's not deep. I need to find out what's going on out there."

At that moment, Ash and Tali ran into the room, weapons in hand.

"Commander, you're hurt," said Tali as she went to Shepard's side to help Liara support her weight.

Ash checked the man slumped in the corner of the room. "It's Simmons. He's dead. What the hell happened? What did you do to him, Commander? It looks like every bone in his body is broken."

"Wasn't me, Ash. Liara is what happened to him," replied Shepard feeling a bit proud.

Liara had spoken with Simmons. He had seemed nice and had treated her respectfully. "He was trying to kill you, Shepard. My only thought was to keep you safe. I did not intend to kill him."

Both Tali and Ash looked at Liara with new respect as Shepard said, "He would have killed me if you hadn't been here. Does anyone know what's going on?"

"Commander, you don't look so good. Why don't you sit down and let me find Garrus and Kaidan. Tali can tell you what we know."

Surprisingly, Shepard allowed Tali and Liara to get her to the bed. "Shepard, would you lay back so I can take look at your wound. Tali can tell you what happened. Do you have a med kit in here?"

Shepard saw that Liara's hands were shaking and she looked very upset. She thought that maybe focusing on the wound would help her calm down. And it does hurt. Shepard lay back on the bed and the pillow felt so good against her head. "It's in the closet, on the top shelf."

Liara got the med kit and quickly returned to Shepard's side. "Shepard, I need to take your shirt off."

"Oh, maybe I should come back," said Tali uncomfortably averting her eyes from Shepard.

"It's okay Tali," said Shepard as Liara gently pulled her shirt over her head. "What do we know about what happened?"

"There was another man, another Normandy crew member involved. I don't know his name. Garrus and Kaidan were monitoring the security cameras when they saw him enter Ensign Jackson's room. Garrus went to Jackson's room while Kaidan reviewed the other cameras. Jackson was dead and Garrus killed the other man when he was attacked by him."

"What about the smoke? Was there a fire?"

"I don't think so, Shepard."

Ash and Kaidan, both clearly uncomfortable that the commander wasn't wearing a shirt, came in and were able to confirm the identity of the man Garrus killed. There was also a third person involved. Kaidan saw him or her on one of Garrus' security cameras releasing smoke grenades. When Garrus got there, he was hit from behind and left unconscious. Dr. Chakwas was taking a look at him and a few other members of the crew who were injured in the chaos. The Normandy's ventilation system had done its job and most of the smoke had cleared out.

Liara pulled Shepard's shirt over her head and couldn't believe the number of scars on her body. They were covering her shoulders, torso and upper arms. One of them went from under her arm diagonally across her stomach. Goddess, how many times has she almost died? Liara focused on the knife wound. She cleaned it and was relieved to see that Shepard was correct when she said that it wasn't deep. She would have been dead. Goddess, it is right over her heart. Her hands were shaking as she applied medication and put a bandage over the wound. She heard voices and knew that Ashley had returned with Lt. Alenko but she didn't know what they were saying. She was unconsciously tracing the scars covering Shepard's body and thinking about what she would have done if Simmons had succeeded in killing Shepard. She was glad he was dead, glad that she had killed him. I will do anything to keep her safe.

Shepard was anxious to be alone with Liara who seemed to be a million miles away. She asked the team to continue to monitor the cameras and to stay in pairs at all times. They would meet tomorrow morning to re-group.

Liara, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, didn't even seem to notice that the others had left.

"Liara?"

When she didn't respond, Shepard took her hand and tugged it until she looked up.

"Oh… Shepard. I am sorry. I was thinking. Did the others leave?"

"Hey, c'mere. You okay?" She pulled Liara up beside her on the bed.

Liara was on the verge of tears and didn't want to fall apart in front of Shepard. She has enough to deal with without me making it worse but, Goddess, I don't want to leave her. "Shepard, I should go so you can sleep." She tried to get up but Shepard held her firmly in place.

"Liara, I don't want you to go. It's not safe for either of us to be alone. Please stay."

"I want to stay with you, Shepard. But, I do not want to add to your burdens."

"Add to my burdens? Liara, you're not a burden. I would be dead right now if it weren't for you. What are you talking about?"

"That is what I am talking about Shepard. You could have been dead right now. I…I do not know what I would do without you." Liara's tears were sliding down her face. "I have only known you a short time but when I think about not hearing your voice or looking into your eyes again, I feel that I am breaking apart inside. I do not want to live without you. When I saw all the scars and the knife wound over your heart, I realized that you could be taken from me at any time. But, Shepard, I know this is why you did not want to admit your feelings for me and I want you to know that this fear I have does not compare to the joy I feel when I am with you."

Shepard was at a loss for words. No one had ever been so open and honest with her about their feelings. Liara didn't hold back anything and sometimes left Shepard floundering in a sea of emotions. This was one of those times so Shepard just wrapped her arms tighter around Liara and said, "I don't want to live without you either." The two women held each other in silence, lost in their own thoughts until sleep claimed them.

TTTTTTTTTT

The next morning Shepard received information that the geth were on Noveria. The Normandy was now en route and would be there within a day. She met with her team to discuss the previous night.

"Do we know anything else about the person that released the smoke grenades," asked Shepard.

Kaidan was the first to respond, "No, Commander. It could have been anyone. Once the smoke started filling the ship, some of the non-combat crew started to panic. Any hope we may have had of catching the traitor on the other security cameras was lost. There were just too many crew members in the corridors and public spaces."

"Commander, we know of at least three of the crew that Saren was controlling and one that he still controls. Maybe that's all," said Garrus.

"We can hope, Garrus, but I don't want to take any chances. Saren has to be communicating with them. He will know that they have failed again and, most likely, try something else. I want to continue the around the clock monitoring of the security cameras. Kaidan and Ash, can the two of you talk with Joker and Dr. Chakwas, let them know what's happening?

"Aye, Commander,"

"Now, we will arrive at Noveria tomorrow. I want Liara and Tali with me. The rest of you will remain on board. Same drill as last time. Anything happens, stick together, look out for Joker and Dr. Chakwas and listen to Kaidan. Any questions?"

There was a chorus of "no" and Shepard dismissed the team.

TTTTTTTTTT

Outside the comm center doors, an inconspicuous figure had been listening and was anxious to report back to her superior. She quickly made her way down the corridor and found an out of the way, safe place to communicate. Fortunately, she knew where the security cameras were located now and wouldn't be foolish enough to be caught on one again.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard, after a reminder from Liara, returned to her quarters after meeting with the team. She was supposed to be in bed and didn't want to push Dr. Chakwas. She really was feeling exhausted and she needed to be ready for Noveria tomorrow. She moved around her small space and picked up things that had been overturned the previous night; this is when she noticed the artifact Liara had left. She picked up and smiled again at Liara's thoughtfulness. Placing it gently back on the table, she grabbed a data pad and retired to her bed. It didn't take long until her eyes were closing. She put the data pad aside, rolled on to her stomach and pushed her arms under her pillow. She felt something underneath, pulled it out and found a folded piece of paper. She read it, smiled and let a few happy tears roll down her face. She fell asleep reciting the words over and over in her mind.

At this moment and through the years

With you, I will face my hopes, my dreams, my fears

I will share my sorrows, my joys, my tears

I will embrace my life, now and forever intertwined with yours

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara had been researching anything she could get her hands on about the Protheans. She had completely lost track of time and only realized how late it was when Dr. Chakwas came in to tell her that she was leaving the med bay for the evening. Liara left soon after to find Shepard. She was smiling from ear to ear, her thoughts filled with the woman who had become the most important thing to her, when she ran into Ash in the dining hall.

"What put that smile on your face, Liara?

"Oh, Ashley, I was just thinking."

"From that smile, I would say you were thinking about a certain commander."

Liara's blush blazed across her face. "I… yes, I was thinking about Shepard."

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. Tali and Kaidan are sitting over there. Would you like to eat with us?"

"I was looking for Shepard. I think I would like to eat with her. Have you seen her?"

"No, I haven't seen her since we met this morning. Did you check her quarters? Maybe she actually followed Dr. Chakwas' advice and has been letting her body recuperate."

"Yes, it is possible although it would be surprising. I will see you later, Ashley."

As Ash walked away she said, "Liara. I'm happy for the two of you."

Liara picked up a tray and filled it with food before making her way to Shepard's quarters.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara walked in to find Shepard curled up on her bed asleep. Liara put the tray of food down and walked over to the bed. Her heart filled at the sight of Shepard. She was torn between letting Shepard sleep because she needed it and waking her for purely selfish reasons. She needs to eat, doesn't she? Liara knelt at the side of the bed and softly pressed her lips to Shepard's. When there was no response, she tried again, a bit more forcefully. Slowly, Shepard woke and was soon quite energetic in returning the kiss. She let her hands slide down Liara's body then pulled her onto the bed. Both women were allowing their hands free rein to explore the other's body. When Shepard moved her fingertips down the side of Liara's neck then followed with soft kisses, Liara pulled away.

"Shepard, we need to stop. I am not ready for this. I am sorry."

Shepard took a deep breath and pulled Liara into her arms, holding her close, breathing in the scent of her. "Liara, it's okay. We don't have to rush anything. I can wait as long as you need."

"Thank you, Shepard. I want this…I want you. I just… I have never been…this is all new for me. I want to join with you, Shepard, but I am…it is something very special, a connection that transcends the physical universe, something that can be truly life-changing and I am… frightened. I am glad you understand my need to wait."

"I'll be here when you're ready. I'll always be here, Liara," said Shepard as she pressed her cheek against Liara's head.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Liara awoke still wrapped in Shepard's arms and spent several minutes watching her sleep. There was nothing in her life to compare to how she felt about Shepard. Though she knew that she wanted to join with Shepard, she was still filled with fear and confusion. Her feelings were like a swirling maelstrom and she constantly felt off balance. She had never felt things so intensely and had never felt so protective of anyone in her life. She had killed a man to protect Shepard. At one time, she would have been consumed with guilt; she felt no guilt now. She felt relieved, happy even, that she had been there to stop him. Wrapping her arm more possessively around Shepard's waist, she whispered, "I love you, Shepard."

"And I love you, Liara."

Liara was startled and lifted her head up to see Shepard's sleepy face. "Shepard…I didn't know you were awake. You do?"

"Very much… from the moment I met you." Shepard was rewarded with that sweet, shy smile that always made her heart beat a little faster and those beautiful blue eyes that had ensnared her soul the instant she looked into them.

TTTTTTTTTT

The Normandy had docked less than an hour ago and Shepard had already lost her patience with Noveria. They were at a stand-off with a guard detail led by a woman named Matsuo who, if Liara was reading Shepard's body language correctly, was about to find herself up close and personal with a very angry Shepard. Just as things were on the verge of getting out of control, the guards were told to stand down and Shepard, Tali and Liara were allowed to keep their weapons thanks to Shepard's Spectre status. The three of them made their way into the building and were intercepted by a woman named Gianna who provided them with information including the fact that Benezia had arrived in Noveria several days ago.

"Benezia… she is here," asked Liara.

"The Matriarch was here but she left for Peak 15 several days ago," replied Gianna.

Shepard spared a sympathetic glance at Liara then questioned Gianna about Benezia. They learned that Benezia had arrived with several large crates and a squad of Asari commandos who were acting as her guard. She informed them that they would need to speak with Anoleis to gain access to Peak 15. Gianna left the three after giving them directions to Anoleis' office.

"Liara, are you okay?"

"I am fine, Shepard. I was just surprised to hear that Benezia is here." Liara was clearly upset but said, "We should go see this man, Anoleis," as she turned away from Shepard.

"Liara, wait."

Liara turned back to Shepard, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"I know how hard this must be for you, Liara. Would you rather go back to the Normandy? Kaidan or Ash can…"

"No, Commander. Unless you do not trust that I will stand with you against my mother." Liara immediately regretted her words when she saw the hurt in Shepard's eyes. "Shepard, I am sorry. I did not mean that. I know that you trust me."

Shepard put her hand on Liara's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Okay, let's go find Anoleis."

TTTTTTTTTT

Several hours and many frustrations later, the trio gained access to the garage and found themselves facing geth. The three took cover and tried to get through the geth shields. Liara was throwing her biotics at them, Tali was working furiously on her omni-tool trying to disrupt their weapons & shields while Shepard fired round after round from her assault rifle. In the confusion, a geth drone flanked them and hit Liara, taking out her shields and slamming her against the wall. She fell to the floor and lay there unmoving. Shepard saw what was happening but was pinned down and couldn't get to Liara in time. "Liara," she screamed in a panicked voice. As the drone fired again, Tali threw herself on top of Liara, taking a hit from the drone. Her shields held, barely, and she managed to bring her pistol around to blow it to bits. She dragged Liara to cover and stood over her while she and Shepard finished off the geth. Shepard and Tali were immediately at Liara's side and both breathed a sigh of relief when Liara's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, take it easy for a few minutes," said Shepard. She looked over at Tali who was holding her left side. "Tali, are you okay?"

"Yes, I may have a bruise but nothing more."

"Shepard, what happened," asked Liara.

Shepard pulled Liara up to her lap and hugged her. Her voice broke when she said, "Tali, thank you. I can never repay what you've just given me."

Tali inclined her head at Shepard and stood up to give Shepard and Liara a few minutes.

"Liara, how are you feeling? Can you stand?"

"My head hurts. Uh, Shepard, if you let me go, I think I can stand."

Shepard placed a kiss on Liara's head, said, "I will never let you go, Dr. T'Soni," and hugged her tight. The two women stood and found Tali examining a Mako at the far end of the garage.

"Hop in, I'll drive," said Shepard.

"Commander, are you sure," asked Tali nervously. "Maybe Liara would like to drive." Tali looked to Liara hopefully.

"Why, Tali. Are you concerned about my driving ability?"

"Well, yes, it is a bit stressful when you drive, Commander."

"C'mon, get in," said Shepard with a grin.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara had a death grip on the arm of her seat. "I believe Tali was correct in her assessment of your driving ability, Shepard. I have never experienced such a terrifying ride."

"Hey, we made it, didn't we? It's not my fault the geth were shooting at us."

"Can we get out now," asked Tali. "Maybe there are some geth we can fight in hand to hand combat. It will be much less frightening than what we just endured."

The three exited the Mako and were faced with another fight, giant spiders this time. They cleared out the immediate threats and made their way to the Peak 15 VI.

TTTTTTTTTT

They learned from the Peak 15 VI, Mira, that the facility had been shut down due to contamination and that Benezia had gone to Rift Station. They made repairs to Peak 15 to get communications and power up then fought their way to the Tram. After arriving at Rift Station, the trio found a group of survivors led by Captain Ventralis who provided them with some information about what happened at Rift Station. Leaving the area, they made their way to the Hot Labs and learned that the spiders were Rachni. A Rachni egg had been discovered on a derelict ship and brought to Rift Station. The egg contained a Queen and soon the Rachni were overrunning the station. Shepard, Tali and Liara purged the labs, killing most of the Rachni soldiers, and barely escaped with their lives. From the hot labs, they made their way to confront Matriarch Benezia.

TTTTTTTTTT

When the three finally reached Benezia, they were tiring. They had fought through countless enemies and their bodies were in need of rest. The room they were in was square shaped and filled with catwalks. Benezia was on an elevated catwalk in the very center of the room. As Shepard, Tali and Liara approached, she turned and gave her daughter a glare that would have withered just about anyone else.

"I won't be moved by sympathy no matter who you bring in to this confrontation, Shepard."

"I didn't bring Liara. She's here because she wants to be here, "replied Shepard.

"What have you told her about me, Liara?"

Liara's voice was shaky but strong when she replied. "What could I say, mother? That you're insane? Evil? Should I explain how to kill you? What could I say?"

Benezia turned her attention back to Shepard and said, "Have you ever faced an Asari Commando unit before? Few humans have.

Shepard was furious that this woman would show no emotion, no feeling toward her only daughter. "I can't believe you would kill your own daughter."

Benezia replied, "I realize now that I should have been stricter with her." As she was speaking, her biotics flared to life and she caught Shepard in a stasis field. There were Asari commandos and geth pouring into the room and Shepard was left helpless to all of them. Tali quickly went to work taking out the geth to the left and Liara faced the commandos to the right. They fought with Shepard between them until she was freed from the stasis field. The three then moved around the room taking out the remainder then approached Benezia who seemed to be waging an internal battle.

When she turned to them, she said, "You can't defeat Saren. He fills my mind. You must…must listen. I am free of him but for only a few moments. Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight him, briefly, but the indoctrination is strong. People are not themselves around him. You would do anything for him. The key is Sovereign, his flagship. Its power is extraordinary. The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren's will seems correct. I thought I was strong enough to resist. Instead, I became a willing tool, eager to serve. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago.

Shepard could see it was taking everything Liara had to hold herself together. Tali had moved beside her and placed a comforting hand on her back.

"Benezia, you can fight this…fight him. Don't let him do this to you."

"No, Shepard," said Benezia as she looked at her daughter. "I wish I could. I have tried." She walked toward Shepard and said," I transcribed the Mu Relay data to an OCD. Take it, please."

Liara spoke up and said, "Knowing the relays coordinates is not enough. Do you know where he planned to go from there?"

"Saren wouldn't tell me his destination but I know that he thinks he can reach the conduit using the relay. You must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived." Benezia was starting to lose control as Saren exerted his will over her. "You have to stop...me. I can't… his teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You should…you should…"

With tears in her eyes, Liara made one last plea, "Mother! Don't leave me! Fight him! Please!"

Benezia looked her daughter in the eyes and said, "You have always made me proud, Liara." She turned away from Liara and when she turned back, her face had changed. It was once again cold and uncaring. "Die."

More geth and commandos stormed the room. The three separated and moved around the large room taking them out. Benezia joined the battle, focusing on Shepard. It was all Shepard could do to avoid Benezia's attacks while dodging the attacks of the geth and commandos. Tali saw her predicament and tried to intervene. One of the commandos picked Tali up with her biotics and threw her against the wall. She hit hard and fell to the floor unconscious. There were geth moving towards her. Shepard lost focus as she tried to reach Tali. Benezia took advantage of her preoccupation and hit her hard. She was pinned against the wall with more than one commando taking aim at her. Liara felt rage that they would try to take Shepard from her and let loose with a throw field that swept them all up, flung them half way across the room and deposited them into a stack of metal crates. She then did the same with the geth who were about to take out Tali as she struggled to her feet. Benezia was quickly losing strength allowing Shepard to break free and help finish off their enemies.

When they approached Benezia, her strength was nearing its end.

"I can't go on. You will have to stop him, Shepard."

Shepard didn't want Liara to see her mother die in front of her. "Benezia, no. There must be something we can do to help you."

"No, I am not myself. I will never be myself again. I still hear him. Like metal on metal. Squealing and reverberating.

Liara was visibly shaking and her voice was barely above a whisper, "Mother…"

Benezia looked at Liara, eyes full of love, "Good night, Little Wing. I will see you again with the dawn."

Liara rushed to her mother and held her in her arms as she died.

The last thing Shepard did before leaving Rift Station was to release the Rachni Queen.

TTTTTTTTTT

When the team returned to the Normandy, Dr. Chakwas patched them up. Fortunately, none of them were injured badly. Liara told Shepard that she needed time alone and immediately went to her quarters. Shepard wanted to talk with her, be there for her, but she was too unsure of herself and their newly formed relationship to approach Liara. Her old insecurities, usually dead and buried so deep they never surfaced, were digging themselves right out of the grave to torment her. She also knew that Liara blamed her for her mother's death. Leaving the med bay, Shepard met with the team, minus Liara, to review what they had learned on Noveria. Shepard was informed that they had received information that Saren was on Virmire. She immediately asked Joker to set a course for Virmire. Kaidan gave Shepard a report on security measures and recommended that both Shepard and Liara have guards at night. Wrex immediately volunteered to spend the evening in the med bay while Garrus and Ash would share duties and keep an eye on Shepard's quarters. Shepard didn't need or want a guard but she did want Liara to be safe. She agreed, dismissed the team and headed to her quarters.

TTTTTTTTTT

Alone in her quarters, Liara let her tears fall. She didn't want to break down in front of Shepard. She was not usually one to cry but since she had met Shepard, her emotions were always sneaking up and taking control of her. She knew that Shepard blamed herself for Benezia's death and didn't want to increase that guilt by falling apart in front of her. Benezia's death was unavoidable given the circumstances; even Benezia knew it was the only way. Why, mother? Why did think you could stop him? Liara's heart was aching at the loss of the person her mother was before Saren and at the anguish Shepard must be feeling right now. Goddess, she probably thinks I'm blaming her because I wanted to be alone. I can't let her think that I blame her. It wasn't her fault. Before Liara could make the decision to find Shepard, Tali came in to check on her.

"Tali come in, please."

"Liara, I just wanted to make sure you're okay and I wanted to thank you. You saved my life today."

"And you saved mine, Tali. Thank you."

"I'm sorry about your mother, Liara. I know how difficult this must be for you and I want you to know that I'm here if you need to talk."

"I appreciate your concern and your friendship, Tali. I have not had many friends in my life and none who would risk themselves to help me. The Benezia that died today was not my mother. At least I know that she joined Saren to try to stop him, that, in the end, she gave us information that will help us stop him."

Tali took Liara's hand and said, "You have friends now so let us know when you need us. Now, I will let you rest. Lt. Alenko and Chief Williams feel that you and the commander should have guards since you have been targeted during the attacks. I think the Commander was too tired to argue. Wrex will be in the med bay tonight if you need anything."

"What about Shepard?"

"Garrus and Chief Williams will keep an eye on her quarters. I will see you tomorrow, Liara."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard couldn't sleep, couldn't stop thinking about Liara. She knew that Liara blamed her for Benezia's death. Why wouldn't she blame you, Shepard? You blame yourself. She kept replaying the encounter with Benezia over and over in her mind, second guessing herself and her actions. She will never forgive me and I will never forgive myself for causing her pain. After too many hours of insomnia and negative thoughts circling her mind, making her doubt that her newly blossoming relationship with Liara could survive, Shepard had to talk to Liara. She got up, dressed and left her quarters to find Ash and Garrus outside her door arguing over the poker game they were playing.

"Skipper, you okay?"

"Fine, Ash. I just need to speak with Liara. Why don't you two go get some sleep? I'm up for the rest of the night anyway."

"Right, Shepard. See you in the morning," said Garrus as he packed up the cards and left to find his bed.

"Commander, Benezia's death wasn't your fault. Liara knows that and she doesn't blame you. She just needed some time."

"That's what I'm hoping, Ash. Now, go sleep while you can. Who knows what challenges will find us tomorrow."

"Good night, Commander."

Shepard headed toward the med bay feeling nervous but slightly more hopeful after Ash's kind words. Just as she reached the med bay doors, an explosion rocked the Normandy and knocked her off her feet. The ship bucked wildly and Shepard was sent sliding across the floor. She came to a stop when her head crashed into the wall. She could hear the Normandy's emergency alarms screaming as she lost consciousness.


	10. Chapter 10

Liara had barely slept. She had gotten up and dressed twice with the intention of talking to Shepard. Both times, she felt foolish and decided to wait until morning. Now, here she was up and dressed again, pacing the floor. She needed to tell Shepard that she did not blame her for Benezia's death, needed to thank her for trying to save her mother, needed to apologize to her for shutting her out…just needed her. Deciding that she could not wait until morning, Liara left her quarters to find Wrex in the med bay engaged in his own pacing.

"Dr. T'Soni, is everything okay? Do you need something?"

"Wrex, everything is fine. I need to talk with the commander. And, Wrex, please call me Liara."

"Well, Liara, I will walk you to the commander's quarters."

They headed toward the door at the other end of the med bay. They were almost to the door when both were sent flying sideways into large crates filled with medical supplies. Liara hit the crates just before Wrex, who slammed into her and knocked the air from her lungs. They hit the floor and a mountain of crates fell on top of them. Wrex was out cold. Liara was struggling to take a breath when something else fell, causing the crates to press her to the floor. She couldn't move, couldn't get enough air into her lungs and could hear an ominous creaking somewhere above her. Every inch of her body was yelling at her to move, to get out before more debris came crashing down on her.

"Wrex! Wrex, wake up!"

Her thoughts turned to Shepard. Goddess, keep her safe. Please keep her safe for me. It was getting more difficult to breathe and Liara could still hear creaking sounds above her. The Normandy was still shuddering from the explosion which, Liara assumed, was another attack from Saren. Where are you, Shepard? Are you safe? Suddenly, there was another, smaller explosion and more debris fell. The corner of a crate hit Liara on the side of the head. She was conscious long enough to feel blood trickling down her face and to think of Shepard's silly, lopsided grin.

TTTTTTTTTT

Ash pulled herself up and ran back toward Shepard's cabin. The emergency alarms were deafening and the crew was starting to fill the corridors. She ran into Kaidan who was trying to organize the crew and assess the damage to the Normandy.

"Kaidan, what the hell happened?"

"An explosion… a bomb. I don't know. Where is the commander?"

"She was going to the med bay to see Liara just a few minutes ago. I'm on my way there now."

"I need to get the crew organized then I'll find you." Kaidan turned away and started shouting orders as Ash continued to make her way to the med bay.

Before she reached the med bay doors, Ash saw Tali at the opposite wall crouched over a still figure. She knew it was Shepard and experienced a moment of panic. Ash ran to them and knelt beside Shepard.

"Tali, is she alright?"

"Yes, I think so. She has a bump on her head but I can't find other injuries."

Ash let out the breath she had been holding and said, "Have you seen Liara or Wrex?"

"No, I was afraid to leave Shepard to look for them."

Ash frowned, knowing that something was wrong if Liara hadn't found Shepard. She would have seen her if she had left the med bay. "Tali, I need to find her. Stay with the commander. Kaidan is assessing the damage and organizing the crew. He will be here soon."

Ash entered the med bay, finding half the ceiling had collapsed on top of the many crates holding medical supplies. There was no sign of Wrex. She ran to the back of the room and entered Liara's quarters. It was empty. "Damn! Where are you, Liara?"

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was starting to wake up. Tali was hovering over her, gripping Shepard's hand.

"Shepard, take it easy. You have a nasty bump on your head."

"Where's Liara?"

"I don't know, Shepard. Ashley is looking for her."

Shepard tried to stand but a wave of nausea caused her to lie back down. Her head was pounding and her vision was a bit fuzzy.

"I need to find Liara and get a damage report."

"Commander, you were only unconscious for about 15 minutes. Lt. Alenko will be here with a damage report soon. You need to stay here until Dr. Chakwas examines you."

There were several crew members nearby. Tali yelled to one of them and asked her to find Dr. Chakwas. When she saw Shepard, she ran for Dr. Chakwas' cabin.

Ash came back and was relieved to see Shepard was awake. "Commander, good to see those green eyes."

"Where's Liara? Did you find her?"

"She's not in her quarters and Wrex is not in the med bay. Maybe she couldn't sleep and just needed to move around. Wrex would have gone with her, Commander."

Shepard looked at Ash, her eyes pleading, "Ash, I have to find Liara. I need to know that she's safe."

"I'll find her, Shepard."

Tali put her hand on Ash's arm, "You go look for Liara. I'll stay with the commander until Dr. Chakwas gets here."

Ash left and Shepard, once again, tried to stand. When Dr. Chakwas arrived a few minutes later, Shepard was on her feet with Tali supporting her weight.

"Dr. Chakwas. I'm glad you're here. She won't stay still. There's a large bump on her head and she is feeling nauseous."

"Commander, you need to sit down. You probably have a concussion. Is your vision blurry?"

"Yes, it is and yes, I have a concussion. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters if I don't find Liara."

Kaidan walked up before Dr. Chakwas could respond. "Commander, we found the source of the explosion. It was a crude bomb centered in this area. Garrus is taking a team to search the ship for more explosives. The second explosion was in engineering and likely due to damage done from the first explosion. There are at least four casualties and almost two dozen injured. You okay, Commander?"

"Kaidan, have you seen Liara or Wrex?"

"No ma'am."

Shepard hung her head then said, "Kaidan, I want you to get to the bridge and talk to Joker. Make sure the Normandy is responding normally. Tali, I need you in engineering to help repair the damage. Dr. Chakwas, do you have something I can take to help with this headache?"

Kaidan was already making his way to the bridge. Tali helped Dr. Chakwas get Shepard to the med bay then went to engineering. Shepard sat waiting for Dr. Chakwas to get medication for her headache, her thoughts on Liara. Where are you, Liara? Where would she have gone? Shepard felt a sudden clinching in her stomach. What if they took her? I don't even know how many Saren is controlling. I have to find her.

"Commander Shepard, this will help with the headache. Let me take a look at your head then you can look for Liara."

"Dr. Chakwas, I need to find her."

"I know, Shepard. Just give me a few minutes. You won't be of any help to her if you walk out of here and fall on your face."

Shepard reluctantly agreed but her stomach was in knots and her heart was beating frantically in her chest.

TTTTTTTTTT

Ash left Shepard at a dead run then stopped because she didn't know where to start her search. She couldn't imagine where Liara would have gone. She started by ruling out places. Okay, she's not in engineering. Tali would have seen her. God, what if someone took her. What about Wrex? He wouldn't let anyone take her without a fight. She suddenly realized that she could check Garrus' surveillance cameras. She made her way to the room where the equipment was set up, found the log for the med bay, backed it up and saw Wrex and Liara being buried under all the crates and the part of the ceiling that had collapsed. She ran from the room hoping they were still alive.

TTTTTTTTTT

Wrex regained consciousness slowly and for several minutes couldn't figure out where he was or how he got there. He was pinned and could only move his left leg an inch or two in either direction and his right arm from the elbow down. He turned his head to the right and saw Dr. T'Soni about a foot away. She was pinned as he was and not moving. He tried to call to her but could barely get breath in his lungs due to the crushing weight on his chest. He tried to reach for her but his shoulder was pinned and he couldn't get free. Gotta get her out of here or Shepard will kill me. After struggling for several minutes, he blacked out again.

TTTTTTTTTT

Ash ran through the door in the med bay just as Dr. Chakwas finished examining Shepard.

"Commander, they're trapped under this. I checked the surveillance camera," said Ash as she started examining the pile of rubble looking for any sign of Wrex or Liara.

Shepard ran to Ash and started calling Liara's name. There was no response. "Ash, go find Kaidan. He can use his biotics to lift this."

"I'll get him, Chief Williams. You stay here," said Dr. Chakwas as she turned toward the door.

"Hurry," yelled Shepard as she examined the pile in front of her. She continued to call Liara and Wrex telling herself they were still alive.

TTTTTTTTTT

Wrex could hear someone calling his name through the cloud in his mind. His voice was barely above a whisper and he couldn't make himself heard. He looked over and saw Dr. T'Soni, still unconscious or worse.

"Liara! Wrex! Can you hear me?"

It was Shepard and she sounded panicked. Wrex tried over and over to answer her but it was useless. He felt around the area at his right hand looking for something small enough to pick up and bang against the crates. There was nothing. He remembered the knife strapped to his upper thigh and tried to reach it. After several attempts he managed to free it and immediately started banging it on the side of the nearest crate.

TTTTTTTTTT

"Liara! Can you hear me?" Shepard's voice was hoarse from shouting. "What's taking them so long to get here? Ash, we have to start moving this stuff."

"Commander, it's only been a few minutes. We need to wait. If we move the wrong piece, it could shift and crush them. Kaidan will be able to…"

"Ash, wait, did you hear that?"

Ash and Shepard stood completely still and silent. Then they heard it, someone banging.

"Liara. Wrex. It's Shepard. I need you to hit once for yes and twice for no. Do you understand?"

The answer was "yes"… one hit.

"Is that you, Liara?"—"no"

"Wrex, are you okay?"—"yes"

"Is Liara with you?"—"yes"

"Is she okay?" Shepard's question was met with silence.

"Wrex, are you there?"—"yes"

"Is she awake, moving?"—"no"

"Is she breathing?" Again, there was silence. Shepard was on the verge of losing control. Her head felt like it might explode and her stomach was doing flips. She took a deep breath and felt only slightly calmer. "Wrex, can you tell if she's breathing?"—"no"

"Ash? What am I supposed to do?"

Ash put her hands on Shepard's shoulders. "Commander. Shepard, you don't know that she's…"

"Don't Ash. Don't say it. She has to be okay."

TTTTTTTTTT

Kaidan and Dr. Chakwas entered the med bay to find Shepard and Ash moving debris. She saw them and called Kaidan over to her. "They're in this section, Kaidan. Can you move it without causing more to fall on them?"

Kaidan surveyed the rubble and answered that he could move it but they would need to get Wrex and Liara out right away. He would have to drop everything within a couple of minutes.

Ash left the med bay and quickly returned with two crew members who could help pull Wrex and Liara out once Kaidan lifted the crates off them.

Shepard wanted to let Wrex know what was about to happen.

"Wrex, still there?"- "yes"

"Kaidan is going to lift this stuff off and we'll be in to pull you out."

Kaidan was surrounded in a biotic field. He moved toward the pile of rubble and, slowly, started lifting it up. As soon as it was high enough, Shepard was on the floor shimmying under it. She saw Wrex who was starting to move his arms and legs as the weight was lifted from him. To his right, Shepard saw Liara lying motionless. She looked behind to see Ash and the two crew members. "Ash, get Wrex," she called as she scrambled to get to Liara. In seconds, she was by her side. She couldn't take the time to do anything but grab her and get out. Kaidan wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. Shepard got to the edge of the debris. Ash was there to help get Liara clear. When Shepard crawled out, Dr. Chakwas was already bent over Liara. She looked up when Shepard approached.

"She's alive, Shepard. We need to get her moved to a bed."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was meeting with the team in the comm center. She hated to leave Liara alone in the med bay. She wanted to be there when she finally regained consciousness which Dr. Chakwas thought would be soon. Amazingly, Liara had no major injuries other than the gash on her head. Wrex also escaped with nothing more than cuts and bruises. Other crew members were not as lucky; seven people were dead and dozens injured. The med bay was overflowing with those most severely injured. The Normandy sustained damage but nothing that would cripple her. Tali had repaired all the damage done in engineering and amazed Engineer Adams with her knowledge and skill. There were no other explosives found and no way of knowing who was working with Saren. They were still en route to Virmire and would be there in a couple of days. Kaidan and Garrus would continue looking for the traitorous crew members while the rest of the team prepared for Virmire. Shepard dismissed the team and practically ran back to the med bay.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara was dreaming of Shepard but it was all wrong. Shepard wasn't really there. She was almost transparent with no substance or color. Liara tried to hold her but her arms went right through her. Shepard's body was like a swirling mist, distorted and billowing.

"Shepard, what's wrong? What happened to you?"

"I'm dead, Liara. I came to say goodbye."

"No, you're not dead. You're not dead, Shepard."

"I am. I have to go Liara. I'll miss you."

Shepard was fading, her form shifting and shrinking until she was single pinprick of light that glowed brightly then was gone. "Shepard, no! Don't go. You're not dead. Shepard! Come back!"

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara jerked awake, Shepard's name falling from her lips, tears running down her face.

Dr. Chakwas heard her cry out and went to her bedside. "Liara, you're awake." Liara was motionless and wouldn't respond. Dr. Chakwas was calling her name, trying to get her attention when Shepard walked in to the med bay. Her smile at seeing Liara's eyes open turned to fear when she realized that something was wrong.

Shepard went to Liara, bent down and pressed her forehead against Liara's. "Liara, what is it? What's wrong?" Shepard's hands were on either side of Liara's face. "Liara, talk to me."

Liara could feel familiar hands on her, could hear a familiar voice calling her. She slowly came back to herself to find a pair of emerald green eyes sparkling in her vision.

"Shepard… you're alive. You're not dead." Liara threw her arms around Shepard and sobbed into her shoulder.

"Hey, I'm right here." Shepard looked to Dr. Chakwas for some indication of what happened.

Dr. Chakwas shook her head and said, "She woke up calling your name, crying. She wouldn't respond to anything until you arrived."

"Does she really need to stay here? You could use the space. Can I take her to my quarters?"

"Yes, she can leave. Medically, she is fine. I think it would be a good idea for the two of you to have time to talk."


	11. Chapter 11

Dr. Chakwas examined Liara then allowed her to leave the med bay. Shepard took her to her quarters and settled her in the bed. Wrapping her mother's quilt around Liara, Shepard joined her on the bed. Liara had not let Shepard leave her side since waking. She was clinging to her as if she would be gone forever if Liara let her out of her sight for even a minute.

"Liara, are you hungry? Do you need anything?"

Liara laid her head on Shepard's shoulder, wrapped her arm around her and said, "I need you to stay right here, Shepard."

"Liara, what happened in the med bay when you woke up?"

"Shepard… I had a dream… when the crates fell and we were trapped, I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Wrex was unconscious or dead, I didn't know. I didn't know where you were, if you were safe. I could hear the ceiling creaking and knew it was only a matter of time until it fell. I didn't think I would survive. I didn't think I would see you again. Just before I woke up in the med bay, I was dreaming about you. I tried to reach for you but my arms passed through you. You told me that you were dead and came to say goodbye to me then you just… faded away. I was screaming at you, begging you to come back. It seemed so real. When I woke up, I thought it was real. I thought you were dead. I thought that you left me."

Shepard could feel the wetness on her shirt from Liara's tears. She could feel her own tears sliding down her face. What do I say to her? I'm just not equipped to deal with this, with emotions; too many years of shoving my own deep down inside and never allowing myself to feel anything but anger; too many years of being alone.

"Liara, I feel like I'm drowning in all the emotions you invoke in me. I've never known anyone so open, so honest about what they're feeling. I don't know how to do that, how to be that way. For almost my entire life, I couldn't let myself feel anything. When I let down my guard, let myself feel, well, it didn't turn out so good for me. So, I stopped. I never let myself get too close to anyone. I've been alone for so many years that I don't know how to share myself. I want to let you in, Liara, share everything with you. I just need to learn how to do that. After the explosion, when I couldn't find you, I was lost. I don't want to be without you. You are the best thing in my life and I'll never leave you, not willingly."

"You're not alone anymore, Shepard. You'll never be alone again."

Shepard's heart skipped a beat at Liara's simple statement.

"Shepard, we haven't talked very much about the past. I have not had a particularly difficult life but I have never had many friends. My mother's partner, my "father" if you want to use that term, was another Asari. In Asari society, it is rare for two Asari to produce a child. The children of a union such as this are called "pureblood". Though most Asari never called me that to my face, some did. It is a great insult in my culture. My mother's partner left when I was very young. I do not remember her. My mother was the only one who never judged me because of my "father". Now that she is gone, I am alone… or I thought I was alone. I have you, Shepard. We have each other."

"Liara, I'm sorry about your mother. If there had been any other way…"

"Shepard, what happened to my mother is not your fault. I never thought it was your fault. She chose her path. At least I know that she did it for the right reasons. She wanted to stop Saren. There was no other way. You did all that you could do. No one else would have even tried to help her, Shepard."

Shepard was running her fingers over Liara's arm, "Do you ever wonder about your "father"? Wonder why she left?"

"Sometimes, yes, I think of her and imagine what she might be like. Maybe she left because she was embarrassed to have a "pureblood" daughter. I do not know. Benezia must have been very hurt because she never spoke of her or their time together."

"You don't know that she was embarrassed. Maybe something happened and she didn't have a choice."

Liara's voice sounded sad when she said, "It is possible but I will never know now that Benezia is dead."

"Liara, what happens when an Asari's partner dies? How do your people deal with knowing that they will outlive their partner by hundreds of years if they are with a species that is not as long lived?" Shepard had been thinking about this as she and Liara had grown closer. For her, the thought of living without Liara now was pure anguish. She didn't know if she would be able to do it.

Liara had thought about this very thing when she and Shepard admitted their feelings for each other. At the time, she thought that she would enjoy spending time, years even, with Shepard and be able to move forward when their time together was done. "We focus on the time we have together. Even when they are gone, a part of them lives on in us because of the nature of the joining." I won't be able to do that, Shepard. I know that now. When you are gone, I will follow you.

"Tell me more about the joining."

"The true connection is mental. It is a connection that transcends both space and time. When an Asari joins with an individual from another species, it is a very deep and spiritual exchange. We do not enter into a union lightly and we choose our partners with great care. A true union is far more than an ordinary melding. It is a merging, an intertwining of memories and emotions that become entangled in a single, rapturous whole.

"It sounds incredible, Liara."

"It is something that is unique to my people. The union is more than just sex. It is the life blood of my species. It is an experience that will change your relationship, take two lives and make them one. During the joining, there are no secrets. Everything is laid bare to your partner; they know your memories and feel your emotions. That is why I have never… it is why my people are so careful in choosing their partners."

"Liara, are you saying that you have never…never been with anyone intimately?

Liara was blushing when she answered, "I am barely an adult by Asari standards. I have spent most of my time alone with my books or at Prothean dig sites. I have been absorbed in my research. I have never thought about it very much… until I met you. Now, it seems, I think about it all the time. Shepard, I want my first time and every time to be with you."

Shepard found herself, once again, at a loss for words. "Well, you've done it again, Dr. T'Soni. You say these things that make my heart flutter, my stomach churn with emotion and leave me at a loss for words."

Liara smiled and tilted her head up to see Shepard, eyes closed and a contented look on her face.

"Shepard, will you tell me something about you… about your past."

"What would like to know?"

"I would like to know everything, Shepard. I know that this is difficult for you. If you need to wait then I will understand."

Shepard was silent for several minutes. Liara wanted to know about Shepard's life but did not want to make her feel pressured to tell her. She placed her hand over Shepard's and said, "I am sorry, Shepard. You will tell me when you are ready."

Shepard took a deep breath when she heard Liara's request. She could already feel the anxiety creeping up on her. Why is this so hard? I want to tell her. I need to tell her. When Liara placed a tentative hand over hers and apologized for asking about her past, Shepard cracked the door to that deep, dark place holding all the pain, hurt, betrayal and loneliness she had never shared with another person.

Shepard's voice was very quiet when she started speaking. "When I was 4 years old, my parents and my older sister were killed…murdered by a gang of teenagers that had been terrorizing the neighborhood for years. I was only spared because my parents made me hide, made me promise to stay hidden and keep quiet. I could hear my mother beg for my father's life, could hear her screams when they killed him. Then, they killed her. My sister was at school. She came home as they were leaving. They knew she could identify them. They held a pillow over her face until she was dead. I was scared, too scared to leave my hiding place. I stayed there until the next night when my mother's friend came to visit and found their bodies. I didn't have any other family. I was sent to an orphanage. It was not a good place. I was there for 8 years. When I was 12, I was… something happened and I ran away. I lived in the slums, slept in abandoned buildings, ate what I could steal or find in the garbage, survived by doing things that make me feel ashamed when I think of them now."

Liara listened to Shepard and with every word, her heart ached more for this woman whose life meant more to her than her own. Shepard's voice was cold, distant and held no emotion. Oh, Shepard. I wish I could take it all away.

When Shepard stopped speaking, Liara sat up, took the quilt from around her body and wrapped it around Shepard. She remembered that Shepard said her mother would wrap her in this same quilt when she was a small child. She lay back on the bed and pulled Shepard to her so her head was now resting on Liara's shoulder. She put her arms around Shepard, pulled her closer, kissed her forehead and just held her. Liara could feel Shepard's shoulders shaking; hear the sobs she was trying to hold back.

"Shepard, someone very wise, someone I care about very much once told me that it's not a sign of weakness to need to talk to others about things we've been through. I very much want to be someone you can talk to about what you've been through."

Shepard's sobs increased and now she was clinging to Liara, holding on as if her life depended on it. Liara quietly held her until Shepard pulled away and looked at her with red rimmed eyes and a tear streaked face.

"Thank you, Liara. I've never spoken to anyone about what happened to my family. I've never cried, never mourned losing them until tonight. It hurts like it just happened but I feel… relieved. I've wanted…needed to talk about this for too many years. I could never trust anyone enough. I trust you, Liara, trust you with my heart and trust you with my pain."


	12. Chapter 12

"Has anyone seen the Skipper this morning?"

Tali shuffled her food around with her fork and said, "I have not seen her since yesterday."

Wrex just shook his head and continued eating.

"Do you think she's still in her cabin? She never sleeps this late."

Wrex shrugged his shoulders, looked slightly annoyed and started on his second plate of food.

Tali, still playing with her food, looked at Ash and wondered why she was so concerned about the commander's sleeping habits. "Did you check her cabin, Ashley?"

"Well, no. She might be sleeping or busy."

"It's still early Ashley. The least she deserves is a morning to sleep in after the day we had yesterday."

Ash agreed and had been thinking along those same lines. After seeing the commander yesterday when they couldn't find Liara, Ash realized just how hard Shepard had fallen. At first, she thought it was just a physical attraction between Shepard and Liara. Then, she suspected that Liara had gotten in a little over her head and would get her heart broken in the end. Eventually, she realized that it was more than physical for Shepard but it wasn't until she saw the commander turn into an emotional wreck yesterday that she truly understood that Shepard was in deep with Liara.

"Tali, I think the commander deserves more than a day to sleep in and I think we should give it to her."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Well, we have another day until we get to Virmire. We've had a tough time since Eden Prime. The commander has been going full speed. Yesterday was bad, Tali. I don't know what would have happened if Liara had d… hadn't made it. I want to do something for both of them, give them time to just be together. I keep thinking that we'll be lucky if even half of us survive this mess with Saren. What if one or both of them don't? I just want them to have one night to be Shepard and Liara without the fate of the galaxy hanging on the commander's shoulders."

Tali was debating the idea when Wrex finally spoke up and said, "I think it's a good idea."

Ash and Tali both looked at him in surprise.

"What? They do deserve it. Besides, I like Dr. T'Soni and she's had a difficult time since we picked her up from Therum."

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara was still sleeping when Shepard opened her eyes. They were both wrapped in the quilt that had belonged to Shepard's mother and Liara still had her arms wrapped around Shepard. When was the last time someone held me and made me feel safe? This is what I've always wanted but been too afraid to wish for. She realized that she felt happy, really happy for the first time since her family was murdered. She also felt lighter and more free after talking about her past with Liara. She shifted slightly so she could get up without waking Liara. She wanted to get breakfast for the two of them to share in bed. After dressing, she went out to the dining hall and filled some plates. She got herself a coffee and decided to get one for Liara too. She knew Liara thought it was too bitter but with a little sugar and creamer, she might like it. As she was making her way back to her quarters, she spotted Tali, Ash and Wrex at a table together. When she walked up to the table, the three of them got very quiet and looked very guilty.

"Morning, Skipper. How are you feeling… bet that lump on your head really smarts today. How about Liara? I know she was really upset when she woke up yesterday. It was a rough day for the two of you. Is she still sleeping? Would you like to join us for breakfast?"

Shepard, Tali and Wrex were looking at Ash with expressions ranging from amused to complete confusion.

Shepard looked at the three of them and knew something was up. Wrex was hiding a smile and trying so very hard not laugh. His head was down and his shoulders were starting to shake. Tali was wringing her hands and looking nervously from Ash to Shepard.

"Ash, are you okay? Why are you talking so fast and asking so many questions? Did someone slip something into your coffee this morning?"

Ash stared at Shepard. Her mouth was closed and her eyes were wide. Tali cleared her throat and looked over at Ash who didn't catch the hint. After too much uncomfortable silence, Tali kicked Ash under the table and said, "Shepard, how are you and Liara doing?"

Shepard glanced at Ash and shook her head. "We're both fine, Tali. Liara did have a rough time when she woke up yesterday. She was confused and not really sure what had happened. She was with me last night…I mean, she stayed in my cabin. I wasn't, you know, with her… like that. Uh, I should go. I wanted to take breakfast to Liara. I'll talk to you later." Shepard, whose face was very red and burning fiercely, turned and walked away.

"Was she blushing? Who is that person masquerading as our commander," asked Tali.

Ash found her voice again and said, "Yeah, and she's taking Liara breakfast in bed."

Wrex picked up his plates, said, "Dr. T'Soni is good for Shepard. The commander deserves to have someone in her life that can make her blush. They're good for each other. Liara is just what the commander needs," and walked away.

Ash looked at Tali who was watching Wrex walk away and, Ash was certain, had her mouth hanging open under her face shield. "Who was that Krogan? Where's the real Wrex. Tali, what's wrong with those two? What did Liara do to them?"

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara woke up alone in Shepard's bed and experienced a moment of panic. Her dream from the day before came crashing back and left her briefly unsure of what was real and what was not. Then she saw the note on the pillow and her heart settled back to its normal rhythm. She wants to bring me breakfast in bed. I don't think she will like it if I tell her that I think she is very sweet. Liara turned on her side and buried her face in Shepard's pillow. It smelled like Shepard and it made her smile. Thinking back to the previous night; falling asleep holding Shepard in her arms, Liara's smile stretched across her face. Goddess, it feels so right. There is no one else, will never be anyone else for me. Liara ran her hand over the quilt she still had around her. She hurt for Shepard, at the things she had survived in her short life. She couldn't imagine having her family, her whole life ripped away from her at so young an age. The things that Shepard endured in that orphanage were horrendous. The thought of that man touching Shepard; doing those things to her, made Liara burn with rage. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted to kill him. She knew that most people wouldn't have survived even one of the experiences that Shepard had overcome. She is the strongest, most determined, courageous person I have ever met. After Shepard's initial difficulty talking about her past, she had opened up and they had talked for hours. Liara was amazed that, after leaving that horrible orphanage, Shepard was able to trust anyone again. But, she did. She gave her heart to someone who had hurt her, used her and betrayed her. And now, she is making herself vulnerable again. She is placing her trust in me. Liara had never imagined that she would feel such love for anyone, that it was even possible to feel such love. Goddess, I am the luckiest person that has ever lived. Shaking her head, she started to get out of bed then remembered that Shepard wanted to bring her breakfast in bed. So, she would just have to stay in bed. Once again, a smile stretched across her face and her blue eyes sparkled as she thought about all the ways she would find to spoil Shepard, let her know that she is loved every day for the rest of her life. She hugged Shepard's pillow to her and fell asleep within minutes.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard walked back to her cabin slowly so her rosy red cheeks would return to normal before she faced Liara. What was that? The mighty Commander Shepard, first human spectre, blushing and stammering like a 16 year old girl. Despite her embarrassment, Shepard smiled and shrugged her shoulders. If a little embarrassment was the price she had to pay for feeling the way Liara made her feel, then that was okay with her. When she reached her door, she hesitated before entering. Why am I nervous? I'm just bringing her breakfast. In a heartbeat, she answered her own question. Because I care about what she thinks of me. What if she doesn't want breakfast in bed? What if she doesn't like blackberry jam? What if she doesn't like the coffee? I didn't bring her anything else to drink. Maybe I should go back to get juice. Which juice though? Shepard realized that she was actually mumbling to herself and quickly looked around to make sure no one saw her. Give it a rest, Shepard. Just take her some breakfast. She took a deep breath and entered her cabin to find Liara still in bed, curled on her side, hugging a pillow. She took a selfish minute to just look at Liara. She's beautiful inside and out and the only reason I need to take Saren down. She put the tray of food down by the bed and sat on the edge looking down at Liara. She kissed her forehead, her cheek and pressed a feather light kiss against her lips. As Shepard was backing away, Liara's arms came up around her shoulders and pulled her down for another kiss. It was a slow, sensual kiss that sent shivers across Liara's body and elicited a moan from Shepard.

"Shepard, can you wake me like that every morning?"

"If it means that you'll be sleeping beside me every night, I'll wake you any way you want." Did I just say that? Out loud?

"I… I would… do you want me to sleep here… in your cabin… with you?"

"Yes. I want that very much."

"I want that too, Shepard."

"Good, now let's eat breakfast and get to work."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard spent most of the morning with Garrus and Kaidan searching for anything, any way they could find out who was working with Saren. Shepard had wracked her brain trying to remember if Saren came in contact with any of the crew after she was assigned to the Normandy. There was nothing. She contacted the Council and asked them to review the Citadel security logs. If they were lucky, there might be something to help them. She spent the remainder of the day reviewing maps of Virmire and checking armor and weapons. She was torn about who take with her once they arrived. She wanted to keep Liara safe. She knew Liara would insist on going with her. Would Liara even be safe on the Normandy with all that had happened? Okay, she would take Liara and Tali. That settled she headed to the med bay to check in with Liara and convince her to have dinner with her.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara had been going through her research notes all day searching for anything about the conduit. She found exactly nothing. She was frustrated, hungry and she missed Shepard. Smiling at the thought of missing someone she had seen less than 8 hours ago, she tidied up her small space and was on her way out the door when Shepard walked in holding a steaming cup of coffee in her hand.

"Is that for me?" Liara had changed her opinion of coffee when Shepard brought her a cup prepared the "correct" way for breakfast.

"Just for you and filled with lots sugar. How about we go grab some dinner. I haven't eaten since breakfast."

Liara took the coffee, had a sip and closed her eyes in pleasure. Shepard looked at her and all she could think about were other ways to put that look on Liara's face. Stop it, Shepard. She needs more time.

"Thank you, Shepard. I do like this coffee when it is prepared like this and I would enjoy having dinner with you."

TTTTTTTTTT

When Shepard and Liara exited the med bay, a smiling Wrex was there to greet them.

"Commander, do you have a minute? Good evening, Dr. T'Soni."

"Hello Wrex. And, Wrex, please stop calling me Dr. T'Soni."

"Sure Wrex. We were just going to eat. Why don't you join us?"

"I've already eaten, Commander. This will only take a few minutes. Liara, Tali was looking for you earlier. I think she is with Dr. Chakwas in her cabin."

"Shepard, I will find Tali while you talk with Wrex. I will meet you back here."

TTTTTTTTTT

When Liara entered Dr. Chakwas' cabin, it was to find, Ashley, Tali and Dr. Chakwas standing there with expectant looks on their faces.

"Oh… Tali, Wrex said you wanted to see me. Why are the three of you looking at me like that?"

Dr. Chakwas said, "Liara, Chief Williams and Tali have a surprise for the commander and would like your help."

"Of course, what can I do to help?"

Ash moved aside, pointed to several dresses on the bed and said, "Can you try these on?"

"I do not understand how that will surprise the commander."

Tali picked up a white dress and said, "Trust us, Liara. She will be surprised. Now, try this one first. It's my favorite."

Liara was unsure but when she saw the smiling faces of Ashley and Dr. Chakwas, she complied with Tali's request. The dress was very simple and elegant. It was a bit tight but when she mentioned this, all three women assured her that it was perfect and Shepard would like it very, very much.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was getting impatient and her stomach was growling at her, demanding to be fed. She still didn't know what Wrex wanted. He talked in circles about nothing then ran off with no explanation. She was just about to go find Liara when Tali walked up and told her that Liara was waiting for her in her cabin. She shrugged and walked through the dining hall toward her cabin. She could see that Tali had joined Ash, Wrex and Dr. Chakwas at a table. They were looking at her with very pleased looks on their faces. What is going on here?

Shepard entered her cabin and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Liara. Her knees went weak. Liara was standing by a table, looking adorably nervous. There were candles scattered about the room casting a warm glow and turning Liara's skin the most amazing shade of blue. She was wearing a simple white dress which clung to her and accentuated her body in the most perfect way. Shepard couldn't take her eyes off her, could barely pull enough air into her lungs to take a breath.

"Shepard, is something wrong? Dr. Chakwas, Tali and Ash said you would like the dress. Is it okay?" Liara's nervousness increased when Shepard didn't respond. She took a step toward Shepard.

"Wait, Liara. Don't move."

"Shepard, what is wrong?"

Shepard's face lit up with a smile that could rival the sun. "Nothing is wrong. I just want to look at you. You are the most beautiful sight I will ever see."

Liara inclined her head to hide her blush. She could hear Shepard moving toward her and was soon enveloped in the spicy scent that belonged only to Shepard.

"Liara, look at me, please."

Liara lifted her head, her eyes meeting Shepard's green ones. "So, you like the dress?"

Shepard put her hands on Liara's waist, pulled her close and said, "I like the dress but I love what's inside it. You are beautiful, Liara." She was rewarded with a kiss that gripped her in its intensity and made her body ache with longing.

When their lips parted, Liara took a steadying breath and told Shepard that Ash, Tali and Wrex planned the evening for them to give them time together. Shepard put a damper on the desire coursing through her body. She needs time.

"Ashley wanted me to tell you that she does not want to see either of us outside this cabin until tomorrow morning."

"I knew they were up to something. I can't believe our ferocious battle master was involved in this. They're good friends." As she said it, Shepard realized it was true. They were her friends, not just her crew. Uh… when did that happen?

They took their time with dinner, talking and getting to know each other better. Once they finished eating, Shepard noticed that Liara was preoccupied and looking slightly nervous about something. I hope she doesn't think I expect more than she is ready to give right now.

"Liara, what are you thinking about?"

"I was… thinking about us."

"I don't expect anything from you, Liara. I just want to spend time with you. We don't have to rush…"

Liara took Shepard's hands in hers. "Shepard, the closer we get to Saren, the more dangerous it becomes. What if something happens to one of us? This could be the last chance we have to show each other how we feel. This has been a wonderful evening and I want to make it more special for us. A night we will never forget. A night we will treasure for the rest of our lives."

"We don't have to do this… not unless you're sure."

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Will you join with me Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite."

Shepard's eyes were smoldering green flames when she answered in a voice that sent a thrill of anticipation through Liara. "Just tell me what to do."

They kissed, touched and slowly undressed each other as the candles burned lower, throwing their shadows on the walls. Taking their time so they wouldn't miss even an inch of the other's body, Shepard and Liara shared an experience that connected them on all levels, entwining the two into one. Neither was prepared for the depth of emotion she would feel from the other and it only heightened the physical pleasure they felt. When they, at last, wrapped their arms around each other to sleep, their bodies meshed together as if they were made to fit the other. Skin pressed against skin, hearts beating in rhythm, they both knew that the joining was, in fact, a life changing experience and, now, neither would be complete without the other.

TTTTTTTTTT

Several hours later, Shepard was jolted from slumber by Joker who informed her that an Alliance distress signal had been detected originating from an uninhabited planet they were orbiting.

"Any other information Joker?"

"No ma'am."

"How far are we from Virmire?"

"Virmire ETA 3 hours, Commander."

"Okay, give me a few minutes. We'll go down to check it out and look for survivors."

Liara's sleepy voice asked, "What will we check out?"

Shepard kissed her and said, "Distress signal. You go back to sleep. I'll be back soon."

Liara leapt from the bed, "No. I'm going with you. I… mean I would like to go with you Shepard… if that is okay with you."

Laughing, Shepard threw Liara her clothes. They dressed and left Shepard's cabin to wake Ash so she could join them.

TTTTTTTTTT

Close to Shepard's cabin, concealed in a forgotten storage closet, a transmission to Saren was in progress.

"Shepard is on her way to investigate the distress call and the Asari is with her. Do you want me to proceed?"

"No, wait for further orders."

The transmission ended and Engineer Adams crept from the storage closet to return to his bed before he was missed. He didn't notice the shadowy figure emerge from a darkened doorway after he passed.


	13. Chapter 13

Shepard, Liara and Ash hit the ground in the Mako and much to the dismay of Ash and Liara, Shepard was driving. They found the source of the distress signal but it only left them with more questions than answers. It was an Alliance ship and it was deserted. No sign of anyone, nothing out of place and all systems operational. They searched it from end to end and found nothing. Shepard had a bad feeling about the whole thing and ordered the team back to the Normandy. She would radio the Alliance and let them deal with it. As they made their way back through the ship, Shepard was falling further behind Ash and Liara. She kept having flashes of the visions from the beacon on Eden Prime. She was sure there was something on this ship triggering it. She could almost feel something tugging at her when she passed one of the many closed doors; it was a room they had already searched. She told Ash and Liara to get back to the Mako. She wanted to check something out and would meet them there.

"Shepard, are you okay? You do not look well."

"Liara's right Commander. What's wrong?"

Shepard waved off their questions and told them she would be fine and asked them to get to the Mako. If whatever she found was anything like the beacon, she didn't want them near it. As she entered the room, Liara turned back and almost went back to check on Shepard. She hesitated long enough for Ash to intervene.

"She's fine Liara. I know your relationship with her is different but when we're in the field, you can't second guess her. She's the commander and it's her job to keep us alive and accomplish the mission. She can't do that if we don't follow orders."

Liara was worried. She knew something was wrong but realized that what Ashley said was true. "You are right. But, if she is not in the Mako in 15 minutes, I'm coming back in to get her."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard entered the room, gun drawn and senses heightened. She scanned the room left to right and top to bottom. Everything looked as it should but there was something; something pulling her toward the far corner of the room. She made her way across the room until she was standing in front of a storage locker. She felt almost compelled to raise her hand and open the door. When she did, red light flooded out and surrounded her, holding her immobile. Realizing quickly that struggling was useless, Shepard tried to relax and think. Thinking was difficult. Her mind was foggy and unfocused. She tried to form a thought but it slipped from her like mist. There was a rumbling in her head, growing louder and angrier. She felt like her brain would explode, wouldn't be able to take the pressure of the noise pounding against her skull. If not for the light holding her, she would have collapsed to the floor in agony. Suddenly, there was silence, then a voice tearing through her mind.

"I am Sovereign. You have interfered with my plans enough human. Like others who thought to stop me, you will join me. I will bend you to my will and you will help bring about the destruction of all life in the galaxy."

Shepard was fighting to escape the pulsing red light, fighting to push Sovereign out of her head but she could feel her will to fight lessening with every word he spoke.

"Benezia's death was a loss but it will mean nothing once her daughter is under my control."

Sovereign could feel the panic that hit Shepard at the mention of Benezia's daughter and took pleasure in the anguish it caused her. Shepard could feel herself losing the battle, knew it was only a matter of time. She was a soldier, trained to kill with weapons. She was not equipped to fight when the battlefield was her mind. When Sovereign threatened Liara, none of that mattered. All that mattered was getting to Liara. Shepard was on fire with a new determination. She scratched and clawed at Sovereign to push him from her mind. She struggled against the light confining her. She chanted Liara's name like a mantra to give her strength. And when she felt the ripple of fear that she knew belonged to Sovereign, she fought even harder. At last, she broke free of the light, free of Sovereign as she screamed Liara's name.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara and Ash made it back to the Mako without incident. Liara kept looking back at the ship willing Shepard to materialize so they could get back to the Normandy. The worry she felt was growing substantially with each minute that passed. She was pacing back and forth outside the Mako. Ash was inside scanning the area for life signs. The fact that an entire ship full of Alliance shoulders could disappear troubled her a great deal. There was nothing on the scans… absolutely nothing.

Liara's worry had reached panic. She stuck her head inside the Mako, said, "Ashley, something is wrong. I am going to get her," and started back towards the deserted ship.

Crap! Shepard will kill me if I let her go in there alone. Ash grabbed her rifle and started to go after Liara when the scanner went wild. It was jammed which could only mean one thing. She jumped through the door of the Mako to see Liara about halfway back to the ship. She was surrounded by geth, too many for her to deal with on her own. She started running toward Liara, firing as she went. She took down a few of them before their bullets finally penetrated her shields and her armor. She managed a few more steps before she collapsed to the ground. She tried to stand, tried to bring her weapon up but it was too late. The geth were leaving and they had Liara. Ash tried her comm unit to call Shepard but it was damaged. God Liara, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Shepard. Determined to get to Shepard, Ash used her assault rifle to support her weight until she could stand. As she started limping toward the ship, Shepard came bursting out the door screaming Liara's name.

"Ash, where is she? Where the hell is she?"

"They took her, Commander. The geth took her. I tried to stop them but…"

"Which way?"

"Commander, they had a shuttle. They're gone."

Shepard's expression hardened and she clamped down on her emotions. She would never get to Liara in time if she let her emotions get the best of her. She hit her comm unit to call the Normandy.

"Joker!"

"Yes Commander."

"A shuttle left this planet a few minutes ago, see if radar picks it up and try to find out where it's going. We're heading back. Ask Dr. Chakwas to meet us. Ash is wounded."

"Yes ma'am."

TTTTTTTTTT

Tali, Garrus and Dr. Chakwas met them when they arrived. Dr. Chakwas immediately went to Ash to examine her injuries. When Shepard emerged from the Mako, the look on her face caused everyone to take a step back.

"Garrus. Tali. Get Kaidan and Wrex and meet me in the comm center in 10 minutes," snapped Shepard as she walked through the room and out the door.

Tali looked at the Mako then at Ash. "Where's Liara?"

Ash, gritting her teeth in pain, said, "The geth took her. I don't know what the hell happened down there. It had to be a trap. Shepard didn't say a word on the way back."

"Damn it! Tali, I'll get Wrex and Kaidan."

Tali acknowledged Garrus with a nod and turned back to Ash. "The geth took her alive?"

"Yes, she insisted on going back after Shepard. She wouldn't wait. By the time I got out of the Mako, they had her. I tried to stop them, Tali. There were too many."

"Where was Shepard?"

"She sent us to the Mako, said she had to check something out. But, something was wrong. Liara knew there was something wrong with her. I convinced her that the commander couldn't be questioned when we were in the field. It's my fault, Tali. We have to get her back."

"Ash, it's not your fault. I have to go. I'll come by the med bay after we meet with Shepard."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard had gone to the bridge to find out if Joker was able to find the shuttle. He had found it and then lost it. He said it was there then it just wasn't. At last contact, it was on course for Virmire. Shepard had a feeling that Sovereign was invisible to their radar and the shuttle had met up with Sovereign. It was the only way to explain what happened, the only way the trap they laid would have worked. Shepard was certain that Sovereign would have to be close to get into her head. That meant they weren't too far ahead of her and probably still heading for Virmire. It also meant that Liara was aboard Sovereign and now at the mercy of Saren.

"Joker, get us to Virmire as fast as you can. I don't care what you need to do to squeeze every bit of speed out of the Normandy."

"Aye Commander."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard entered the comm center to find Tali, Wrex, Kaidan and Garrus seated and waiting for her.

"The distress signal was a trap. It was Sovereign. I can't explain it but he was able to get in my head. He tried to turn me to his side. I don't know how but I was able to resist him. He wanted Liara to replace Benezia so he took her. We're following them to Virmire and we're getting her back. We should be there within two hours. Tali and Wrex, you two are with me so get ready. I'm going to my cabin and I don't want to be disturbed." Shepard turned to leave the room hoping they would just let her go before she fell apart in front of them.

"Commander. We have information about the indoctrinated crew. We have identified at least one of them."

Shepard turned and said, "Garrus, I can't do this right now. Can you deal with it?"

"I think you should at least know…"

"Garrus, please, deal with it or don't. Just keep an eye on whoever it is until… Liara is safe."

"Alright Shepard."

When Shepard left the room, there was silence for several minutes. Kaidan finally spoke up, "Garrus and I will stay on top of Adams. Someone should let Ash know what's happening. And someone should check on the commander." He looked to Tali and Wrex.

They decided that Wrex would talk to Ash and Tali would check on Shepard. Tali was terrified but more than that she was scared for Liara and Shepard. She decided to go with Wrex to the med bay to check on Ashley before going to Shepard's cabin.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard left the comm center and went to her cabin. When she walked in, her knees were shaking and she had to lean against the wall for support. She had two hours to pull herself together. She walked further into the room. It was like a punch in the gut every time her eyes fell on something of Liara's. When she saw the white dress thrown over the back of a chair, she clutched it to her chest, fell to her knees and cried. Was it just last night that she wore this for me? Just last night that we… And now she's gone. She's gone and it's all my fault. Shepard lost herself in her pain and didn't hear Tali enter her cabin or call her name.

Tali approached Shepard cautiously; afraid that she would surprise her and get hurt or killed when Shepard reacted.

"Shepard, it's Tali."

"I said I didn't want to be disturbed, Tali," growled Shepard.

Tali knelt down beside Shepard and just sat there. She didn't know what to say or do but she wanted to be there if Shepard needed her. She was ignored for several minutes then Shepard turned to her, tears still running down her face and said, "How is Ash?"

"She's fine Shepard. She is behaving like you, arguing with Dr. Chakwas and demanding to be released. She wants to go with you to get Liara. She thinks that it's her fault Liara was taken."

"It wasn't her fault Tali. It was my fault. I should have never let them go back to the Mako without me. We should have stayed together."

"Shepard, what happened? Why did you send them ahead of you?"

Shepard told Tali what happened aboard the deserted ship, told her that she would have given in to Sovereign if her need to get to Liara hadn't been so great. Tali listened and Shepard felt better after talking about it. She could at least pull herself back together and focus on what needed to be done. She stood and placed the dress back across the chair.

Tali place her hand on Shepard's arm and gave a little squeeze. "We will get her back, Shepard."

"Thanks Tali. I need to talk to Ash. Why don't you get your gear ready? I know Joker will get us there sooner than expected."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard entered the med bay to find Ash still arguing with Dr. Chakwas. She cleared her throat and went to stand by Ash's bed.

"Commander, I want to go with you to get Liara. It's my fault she was taken. I'm sorry Shepard. Let me go get her back."

"Dr. Chakwas, is Chief Williams medically cleared?

"No Commander."

"Commander, I'm fine. I need to do this. Let me go with you."

"Ash, it's not up to me this time. If Dr. Chakwas says you're not medically fit then I can't override that decision."

Ash looked at Dr. Chakwas, eyes pleading. "I lost my whole team on Eden Prime. I couldn't do anything to save them. I need to do this Dr. Chakwas. I am fine."

Dr. Chakwas looked at Chief Williams and knew that the woman really did need to do something to fix what she thought was her fault. Weighing the medical concerns against the emotional/psychological concerns, she made a decision that she hoped she would not regret.

"Commander, Chief Williams is medically cleared for duty."

"Okay, Ash. You're going with me. Wrex can stay here and help Garrus and Kaidan. But, Ash, I need you focused. What happened is not your fault so put the guilt aside and focus on the mission. Get ready."

"Aye Commander."

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara opened her eyes then closed them again when the pain from the light shot through her head. Sovereign was quiet now. He had been in her head, taunting her, telling her she would replace her mother and do his will. Torturing her with images that were not her own; Shepard begging for her life before she was ripped to pieces, Shepard vowing to serve Sovereign, Shepard alone, injured and dying a slow, painful death. It was too much. She didn't know which, if any, of the images were true. She had to believe that Shepard was still alive so she could keep fighting Sovereign. She didn't know how long it had been since they had taken her. Every torturous minute of Sovereign's voice in her head seemed like an eternity. They were now, she guessed, on Virmire and she was blissfully free of Sovereign for the time being. Saren, however, had not been kind to her. She was covered in cuts and bruises. She had broken bones and knew from the pain in her stomach that she probably had internal injuries. Her biotics were useless. They had given her something, done something to her. She was helpless against them but she would never help them. She turned her thoughts to Shepard. She pushed aside the fear and pain. She focused on Shepard and their previous night together.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard, Tali and Ash had fought through the geth and taken out the AA guns so the Normandy could land. They were now approaching the Salarian camp. Shepard was filled with nervous energy. It had taken too long. There were too many geth to get through. Every minute they were delayed was another minute Liara was closer to death or worse. Shepard talked with Captain Kirrahe who was expecting an entire fleet not a lone ship. He explained that Saren had opened a research facility and was breeding a Krogan army. Somehow, he had discovered a cure for the genophage. There were some tense moments with Wrex who was opposed to destroying the facility. In the end, Shepard made him understand that if the facility wasn't destroyed, it wouldn't matter that there was a cure for the genophage. Saren and the Reapers would destroy everyone. Captain Kirrahe and Shepard worked out a plan to destroy the facility. The Salarian ships drive system would be converted to a bomb. His team would split into three units and hit the facility from the front to provide a distraction while Shepard took a team in through the heart of the facility, get Liara and rendezvous with the Normandy which would deliver the bomb. Shepard's team would then arm the bomb and get the hell out of there. Shepard didn't like the fact that Kaidan would need to accompany the Salarians to coordinate between the teams but he was the best choice for the job. Garrus and Tali would remain on the Normandy. Ash and Wrex would accompany Shepard.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard and her team made their way through the facility. They learned from a Salarian captive that Saren had been researching indoctrination and experimenting on captive Salarians who were turned into empty husks. All Shepard could think about was Liara being in this place and the things they could be doing to her. After dealing with several husks, they encountered an Asari scientist and learned more about the way Sovereign indoctrinated his followers. When Shepard asked about Liara, the scientist blanched. She told them that Sovereign had been in Liara's mind on the trip to Virmire and she wasn't in good condition when she was brought to the facility. Saren had been angry that she was fighting the indoctrination and had not been gentle with her. She was in worse condition when Saren left the facility with her. The scientist didn't know where he took her but was certain they were no longer in the facility. The scientist helped them get into Saren's private labs where they encountered another prothean beacon and Sovereign who confirmed Liara's theory that the Reapers had allowed civilizations to develop then harvested them in an endless cycle. When Sovereign told Shepard what he had done to Liara, she couldn't control her anger, couldn't stop threatening Sovereign. After a warning from Joker that Sovereign was heading for the facility, Shepard and her team ran for the Krogan breeding ground and to rendezvous with the Normandy to retrieve and arm the bomb. Once the bomb was in place, Shepard contacted Kaidan and told him to get to the rendezvous point. He was pinned down and wouldn't make it in time. Shepard tried to go back for him but she had to make a choice. Geth were going after Ashley and the bomb. In the end, the bomb had to be armed. They took care of the geth sent to stop them but before they could arm the bomb and get out, Saren appeared and he had Liara with him. She was unconscious or dead at his feet on a flying platform. He tried to convince Shepard to join him, tried to convince her that he was working with Sovereign to try to save lives. Shepard couldn't convince him that Sovereign was indoctrinating him and that he would end up a mindless slave. She couldn't convince him to release Liara. They fought but Shepard was gaining the advantage. She was terrified that Saren would get away with Liara who was starting to stir. Shepard called to her as she carefully fired at Saren. When he came in low to try to take Shepard out, Liara managed to throw herself off the platform. Once Liara was out of the line of fire, Shepard opened up on Saren who ran when she started getting the best of him. Shepard rushed to Liara and lifted her in her arms. Ash had been injured and was slumped over the bomb which was set to detonate too soon.

"Wrex, get Ash and get to the Normandy."

Shepard and Wrex, carrying their burdens, made it to the Normandy in time for Joker to get them out before the bomb detonated. Shepard carrying Liara through the ship to get to the med bay said a silent goodbye to Kaidan when the Normandy shook from the explosion.


	14. Chapter 14

Shepard held Liara close to her as she made her way to the med bay. She wouldn't allow anyone else to take her. Her heart was pounding. She felt relief at having Liara back, fear at what they had done to her and grief that Kaidan was gone, had given his life so they could arm the bomb and escape. They might all be dead if not for him and the Salarians. Joker would take the Normandy to the rendezvous point and, with luck, there would be survivors to pick up from the Salarian unit.

"Shepard?"

Shepard's eyes gentled as she looked down at Liara. "Hey there, I'm taking you to Dr. Chakwas. You're gonna be fine." Shepard could feel tears at the corners of her eyes.

"It hurts Shepard." Shepard increased her pace and felt another pang of guilt.

"I know, sweetheart. We're almost to the med bay."

Liara couldn't keep her eyes open. As they closed, Shepard could hear her whisper, "Sweetheart. What does that word mean…?"

"It means I love you Liara."

Shepard got to the med bay just behind Wrex, placed Liara on a bed and took her hand. She was unconscious again. Dr. Chakwas was assessing Ash's injuries while Ash yelled at her to help Liara.

"Chief Williams. If you don't calm down, I will sedate you."

Dr. Chakwas completed her exam of Ash and moved to Liara as Shepard stood by, worry wrinkling her brow. A look of concern passed across Dr. Chakwas features and she immediately moved Liara to the back of the med bay to the sterile environment that served those more severely injured. When Shepard tried to follow, Dr. Chakwas held up her hand.

"Commander, you need to wait here."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know Shepard. I will tell you as soon as I know something." Dr. Chakwas left Shepard standing alone in the middle of the room which seemed, to her, to be spinning.

The next thing she knew, Tali was at her side guiding her to a chair. "Sit down Shepard."

"Thanks Tali." Shepard was exhausted, worried about Liara & Ash and couldn't stop thinking about Kaidan being gone. She looked over at Ash who was obviously in a great deal of pain and fighting very hard to stay conscious. One of the medical staff was removing her armor. Wrex and Garrus were also in the room, standing together and talking quietly. Shepard knew she should talk to them; find out what Garrus wanted to tell her about the indoctrinated crew. She was afraid to try to stand, knowing there was a high probability she would fall. Tali had been talking but Shepard didn't know what she was saying.

"I'm sorry Tali. What did you say?"

"I said you're bleeding. Were you shot? Where are you injured?"

Is that why my back is hurting? "Maybe my back, I don't know."

"Shepard, lean forward."

Shepard complied and could hear Tali's indrawn breath when she examined her back.

"Shepard, you have three gunshot wounds. They penetrated your armor. There's a pool of blood in the chair. We need to get your armor off."

Just then, several of the Salarians were brought to the med bay. Joker had managed to pick up some survivors. When one of the medical crew came to examine her, Shepard waved the woman away and told her to help the Salarians.

"Shepard, you need medical attention."

"So do they Tali."

"Then I will do it. Can you stand? I think you should move to a bed."

"I can stand but I don't know if I can stay standing."

"Damn it, Shepard. Why didn't you say something?"

Tali called Wrex over to help her get Shepard to a bed. When he bent down and lifted Shepard in his arms, she tried to protest.

"Sorry Commander. I don't want to be on the receiving end of Dr. T'Soni's anger if we stand around here and watch you bleed out. She made me promise to keep you alive."

"She what? When?"

"After Feros. She came to me and asked me to keep you safe, tried to make it sound like the galaxy was doomed without you. And while that may be true, that's not why she wanted you safe."

Shepard wondered who else Liara had been talking to about her as Wrex put her on a bed and Tali started removing her armor. Now that she knew about the gunshots, her back was killing her. Maybe it would be okay to let them take a look at her. She asked Joker to set a course for the Citadel then allowed Tali take a look at her wounds.

TTTTTTTTTT

When Dr. Chakwas let Shepard know that Liara would be okay, she cried with relief. Liara had been badly injured but would be fine. Ash had been patched up and was sleeping in the bed on Shepard's right. Shepard had nearly passed out from blood loss before anyone had bothered to inform Dr. Chakwas that she was injured. Dr. Chakwas had been busy. Shepard knew that she had performed miracles with some of the Salarians. She also knew that Liara had been more severely injured than any of them and was grateful to Dr. Chakwas for saving her. She was in pain but had refused pain medication because she needed to be awake, needed to know that Liara was okay. She asked to see Liara but Dr. Chakwas told her that she was confined to bed until further notice. When she tried to protest, she got the famous Dr. Chakwas lecture that, no matter how harsh it sounded, was grounded in concern.

"You are not to leave that bed until I tell you that you may do so. Do you understand, Commander? And when you are wounded, it is your responsibility to inform the medical staff. One of those bullets was very close to your spine. If it had moved, you could have been paralyzed. And it very easily could have moved since you decided to parade around the Normandy carrying Liara rather than allowing someone else to carry her or, god forbid, let me know what happened. Do I need to remind you that as Chief Medical Officer…"

"I know… I know. You can relieve me of command for medical reasons. I'm sorry Dr. Chakwas. There was so much happening. I honestly didn't know that I had been shot until Tali noticed the blood. Thank you for patching me up and thank you for saving Liara."

"Commander, sometimes… Shepard. You are responsible for most of the gray hair on my head. I would appreciate it if you would allow me to retain the darker strands a bit longer. Believe it or not, I have grown quite fond of you so can you please try harder to stay whole. Now that you know Liara will recover, I want you to take something for your pain. It will also help you sleep which you need right now. Can you do this without arguing with me for once?"

"Yes ma'am."

Dr. Chakwas smiled, gave Shepard the medication and moved around the med bay checking her other patients. Shepard looked at Ash and knew they would need to talk about Kaidan soon. Wrex was sitting by the med bay doors. He had decided to take it upon himself to serve as guard for Shepard, Ash and Liara until they were out of the med bay. Tali had been in and out to check on them. Shepard thought about her team, her friends, and felt the sadness at Kaidan's loss. She couldn't dwell on it now though, not here in front of everyone. She had to appear strong for the team and the crew. She could feel the effects of the pain medication. Her eyelids were growing heavy and before she knew it, sleep had claimed her.

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara had awakened once after Dr. Chakwas had patched her cuts, set her broken arm and repaired her internal injuries. She was in tremendous pain but asked to see Shepard who was in no condition to see anyone at the time. When the medical staff told Liara that Shepard had been shot multiple times and Dr. Chakwas was working on her, Liara had become more insistent that she be allowed to see her. The medical staff, after consulting with Dr. Chakwas, had been forced to sedate her to keep her calm. The sedation was wearing off. Liara was afraid to open her eyes. The last thing she remembered was Sovereign and Saren. She didn't want them to know that she was awake. She kept her eyes closed and tried to remember where they had brought her. Saren had taken her to Virmire briefly then left with her to take her back to Sovereign. Shepard! She remembered Shepard carrying her. She was on the Normandy. Her eyes popped open and she sat up. She was in the med bay and Shepard was in the bed beside her. Someone had pushed their beds together. It was dark and quiet, everyone was sleeping. Liara could see Wrex sitting by the doors. He smiled when he saw her looking in his direction. She looked down at Shepard, brushed a hand across her head and leaned over to kiss her. She lay back down on her side facing Shepard, wrapped her hand around Shepard's arm and went back to sleep.

TTTTTTTTTT

Ash woke very early and was surprised to see Liara in the bed on the other side of Shepard. Well, mostly in the other bed. She was part way on Shepard's bed with her head resting on the commander's shoulder and her arm around her waist. Both were still sleeping. While Ash was happy and relieved that Liara was back safely, she felt that she was being torn apart inside over Kaidan's death. She was angry with Shepard. It should have been me. When she thought logically, Shepard's decision made sense. But, logical thinking was no match for the heart or emotions. Ash wanted to get up and get out before anyone else was awake. She wanted to be alone. She was not quite brave enough to risk Dr. Chakwas' wrath though. She buried her face in her pillow and quietly cried instead.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard woke to find Liara beside her. She closed her eyes and put her arm around her. She didn't know what Saren and Sovereign had done to her, didn't know what emotional damage had been done but she was alive and she was back where she belonged. Shepard lay there thinking about Kaidan until Dr. Chakwas came in for the morning.

"Commander, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Much better Dr. Chakwas." She nodded her head toward Liara and said, "Thank you for this."

"I'm sorry to say it was not my idea. When Liara was moved, Wrex insisted that her bed be moved close to you."

"I have a feeling it's all for Liara. He seems rather attached to her and has appointed himself her protector."

Dr. Chakwas looked pointedly at Shepard's arm wrapped protectively around Liara and said, "Yes, it must be contagious."

Shepard grinned, pulled Liara just a bit closer and said, "Well, she is utterly irresistible."

If Dr. Chakwas hadn't heard it, she would never have believed Shepard would say such a thing. "And she's a miracle worker where you're concerned. She's changed you, Shepard, or maybe just brought out the real you. She makes you happy even in the midst of all the chaos."

"She does make me happy, more than I deserve."

Liara lifted her head and said, "You deserve happiness Shepard, more than anyone I know."

Shepard's face went from pink to very red in seconds. Damn, how long has she been listening?

Dr. Chakwas hid her grin and said, "Why don't I take a look at you two. Maybe you can get out of here today if you promise to follow doctor's orders until we reach the Citadel."

Shepard, Liara, Ash and most of the Salarians were allowed to leave the med bay on the condition they see Dr. Chakwas daily.

Ash walked up to Liara and Shepard, her face showing no emotion, and said, "Liara, I'm glad you're back safely. I'm sorry I couldn't stop them from taking you." Before Liara could respond, Ash turned and walked out the door.

When Liara turned to Shepard, she could see pain behind her eyes. "Shepard what's wrong? What happened?"

"C'mon, let's go to our cabin so we can talk."

Liara hesitated briefly before following Shepard. She said our; our cabin… not her cabin.

TTTTTTTTTT

When they entered the cabin, Liara stopped, looked at the mess and asked, "Shepard, what happened in here?"

Shepard had completely forgotten about the mess she made when Liara was missing. All the frustration came out and in under a minute, she had overturned chairs and cleared surfaces. Everything was scattered on the floor. "I was frustrated. I'll pick it up. You need to get in bed. Dr. Chakwas says you can be up and around in a couple of days but not today."

Liara sat on the edge of the bed as Shepard moved around the room putting things back in place. "You said you wanted to talk. Why is Ashley angry with you?"

Shepard took a deep breath before she responded. "Why do you think she's angry with me?"

"Shepard, I may not have much experience with your species but I can read human facial expressions and body language since spending time on the Normandy."

"Liara, Kaidan is gone. He died on Virmire."

"Oh, Shepard, I am sorry." There were tears in Liara's eyes. Shepard was in constant motion cleaning up the mess she made the day before.

"Shepard, sit with me and tell me what happened." Shepard shook her head and stood in the middle of the room looking lost. "Sit with me. Please."

Shepard sat beside Liara on the bed. Liara took her hand and held it in her smaller one. "Do you want to talk about it now or do you need more time?"

For Shepard, that question meant everything to her. Liara wasn't pressuring her to tell her anything until she was ready, would give her time if she needed it and just be there for her until then. Shepard told Liara everything that had happened on Virmire; Saren's research facility and breeding grounds, their desperate plan, the beacon, Sovereign, the choice she had to make, Kaidan's death. At one point, she had to stop because she couldn't get the words out through her sobs. Liara held her quietly until she was ready to go on with the story.

"Ashley is angry with you because Kaidan died and she lived?"

"I haven't talked with her about this yet but, yes, I think that's why she's angry with me. She blames me for Kaidan's death and it is my fault. All my fault."

"No. It is not your fault. It is Saren's fault. It is Sovereign's fault. Ashley would realize this if she wasn't in pain and feeling guilty for making it out alive. Shepard, I have not known you for very long but I know you would never leave one of your team to die if there was anything you could do to stop it. You would have taken Kaidan's place if you could have, wouldn't you?"

"Yes… I wouldn't want to leave you. I want to live a very long life with you but, yes, I would have traded places with Kaidan if I could have done so. I would do the same for anyone under my command. I'm sorry. I know that's not the answer you want to hear."

Liara knew what Shepard's answer would be but that didn't make it any easier to hear. "You do not need to be sorry. The fact that you would give your life for anyone on your crew is part of who you are and one of the reasons I found myself in love with you. It will be my job to keep you safe."

"Apparently, Wrex has also been recruited to keep me safe." Liara decided to look at the room rather than Shepard.

"Well, Shepard, you can be reckless at times and I thought... I thought that it might…," Liara looked over to see Shepard smiling at her. "I don't want to lose you. Are you angry that I spoke with Wrex?"

"No, I'm not angry. I'm happy that you care. Do you feel like talking? Do you want to tell me what happened after the geth took you?"

Liara didn't want to think about her time with Saren and Sovereign but she knew it would be good to talk about it. It would be better for Shepard if she told her what happened rather than allowing Shepard to imagine what happened.

"Yes, I would like to tell you."

TTTTTTTTTT

The next morning Shepard left Liara in bed sleeping. She didn't want to leave the comfort of the bed but she wanted to find Garrus to discuss the indoctrinated crew then talk with Ash. When Liara woke without Shepard, she was disappointed but decided to use the time to find Ashley. She was still feeling weak and very sore. It was frustrating trying to dress with one arm in a cast but she managed and found Ash in the dining hall. Liara took some breakfast and approached Ash.

"Good morning Ashley. Could I join you?"

"Don't be silly, Liara. Sit down."

"Shepard told me about Kaidan. I am sorry Ashley. I know that he was your friend. I did not know him well but I will miss him."

"Did she tell you that it should have been me instead of Kaidan? Did she tell you that she made the wrong choice?"

"No, she told me that it was the hardest decision that she has ever made and to make it, she had to put aside her feelings and focus on the outcome. In order to destroy that facility, you had to arm the bomb. You wouldn't have been able to do that if Shepard had gone for Kaidan. The geth would have stopped you, you would be dead and the facility would still be operating. She told me that she would have traded places with Kaidan if she could have done so. She would do the same for any of us. We are friends Ashley. I like you very much but I won't let you hurt her. She is not responsible for Kaidan's death although she does not see it that way. I understand your anger but it is misplaced. Saren and Sovereign are responsible and that is where your anger should be focused."

Ash was hanging her head in shame. Everything Liara said was true. "Liara, I think I owe the commander an apology."

"She does not want that Ashley. Just don't turn your back on her because you are hurting and want to blame someone for that pain."

"I won't."

"Good, now there is one more thing. It is not your fault I was taken by the geth. I should have stayed at the Mako as Shepard asked. It is my fault."

Ash needed to lighten the mood. She was already depressed and needed something else to talk about. "Thank you Liara. Now I want to talk to you about something. Did the commander enjoy her surprise? What about the dress? She loved it, didn't she?"

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard found Garrus monitoring the surveillance cameras he had installed. When he told Shepard that Tali had seen Engineer Adams leaving the empty storage room near her cabin the night the distress signal was received, she couldn't believe it had anything to do with Saren or the indoctrinated crew. Garrus had followed her instructions and had been watching Adams closely. He also went back to review security logs and found several instances of Adams talking with the other indoctrinated crew members. When Shepard pointed out that talking to the crew was not unusual, Garrus countered that when he talked with the indoctrinated crew, it was always at night when most of the ship was sleeping and in out of the way places where they would not be seen. The only other crew member he was suspicious about was a woman in engineering who was seen on the security logs with Adams. Tali had been keeping an eye on her. Shepard still couldn't quite believe Adams would be involved but after experiencing Sovereign's attempt to indoctrinate her, she knew that it was possible. She asked Garrus to continue what they had been doing until they reached the Citadel.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard still couldn't believe her conversation with Ash. She was expecting the Gunnery Chief to be angry, yell, everything short of punching her. Instead, she was calm and understanding. They talked for a while about Kaidan's death, about the life he lived, the things they would miss about him and both felt better for it. When Shepard left Ash, her heart felt lighter. She went to her cabin to find Dr. Chakwas there. She was lecturing Liara about following medical advice and ordering her back to bed.

"What have you been doing to earn Dr. Chakwas' lecture?"

"She's picking up your bad habits Commander." Dr. Chakwas then turned to Liara said, "If I see you out of this cabin again today, you're back in the med bay," and left the room.

"What were you doing out of bed?"

"I just wanted to see Ashley. And I ran in to Wrex then I had a talk with Tali. I only went to my old quarters to get some clothes. There was only the white dress here and it is not my fault Dr. Chakwas thought I was working. She marched me back here like I am a child and… why are you laughing?"

"Because you are adorable and it's nice not to be the target of Dr. Chakwas for a change. She only does that because she cares about you. Now, I think you should get back in bed. You look tired."

"I missed you while you were gone."

Shepard knew that Liara still needed to work through what happened to her with Sovereign and Saren, though she tried to hide it. When Liara told her what they had done to her, Shepard felt a rage like nothing she had ever felt in her life. Liara needed her now. She threw herself down on the bed. "Care to join me Dr. T'Soni?"

Liara smiled and joined Shepard on the bed. Within minutes, she was sleeping. Shepard waited until she was sure Liara was soundly asleep then left the bed. She made space in her closet and cleared out a large drawer. After getting Liara's clothes and moving them to the newly cleared space in her cabin, Shepard slid back into the bed with Liara.


	15. Chapter 15

The Normandy reached the Citadel and Shepard immediately went to meet with Udina. Prior to their arrival, Liara once again attempted to help Shepard understand the images from the beacon and the cipher. While they still did not understand everything, Liara was able to figure out that the conduit was on Ilos. Shepard planned to leave the Citadel the same day as arriving. She wanted to meet with Udina and the Council, ask them for help to stop Saren from reaching the conduit and get to Ilos as quickly as possible with a fleet at her back. The Council did take the threat from Saren seriously but refused to believe in the Reapers existence. They refused to send anyone to Ilos and Udina grounded the Normandy. Their only concession was to put the fleet on alert so they would be prepared when Saren attacked.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard slammed her locker door and rested her forehead against the surface. Frustration building, she punched the locker leaving a large dent in the door and several cuts across the back of her hand. Damn, that hurt. Leaning her back against the row of lockers, Shepard slid down to the floor holding her now injured hand. Hanging her head, she let the hopelessness she had been holding back wash over her. Before meeting with the council, Shepard was optimistic that the information she had gathered would convince them that the threat was more than Saren and the geth. She expected that they would at least believe her when she told them about the Reapers. They didn't and to add insult to injury Udina had grounded her and the Normandy indefinitely. If not for Ash and Garrus, the situation would have been worse. She was on the verge of trying to pound some sense into Udina when they grabbed her and got her out of there.

"Shepard, are you okay? I cannot believe they would do this to you. They should… what happened to your hand?" Liara looked to the dent in the locker and the blood trickling from Shepard's hand as she cradled it against her. Shepard's head was hanging and her knees were pulled up to her chest. She is closing herself off, trying to close those doors to lock me out.

"It's nothing."

Liara knelt by Shepard who did not raise her head. "Can I see your hand?" When there was no response, Liara took Shepard's hand and pulled it toward her. Thankfully, Shepard didn't resist. In addition to the cuts, the hand was swollen and probably had a broken bone or two. Liara sat facing Shepard holding a cloth she had retrieved from her locker on the cuts covering Shepard's knuckles and caressing her palm with her thumb.

"You certainly did teach that locker a lesson. I am certain it will avoid angering you in the future. You should let Dr. Chakwas take a look at your hand. Perhaps she will go easy with the lecture since it has been a difficult day today."

As Liara had hoped, Shepard raised her head and there was the hint of a smile hovering around the edges of her mouth. As their eyes met, Liara let all of her emotions show and said, "Don't back away from me… from us. You are not alone anymore. Talk to me Shepard."

"News travels fast around here, huh? Who told you?"

"Ashley told me. She was worried about you and thought you might need to talk since, as she says, "We wouldn't let her kick his ass" and I am hoping that you will talk to me. Don't push me away."

Shepard looked down at her aching hand held so protectively by Liara, her pale skin a stark contrast to the beautiful blue hue of Liara's. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?

"It's so damn frustrating. All we've done, all we've lost has been for nothing if they don't believe the threat is more than Saren. And Udina wouldn't even back me up. All he cares about is himself and his position. He wants to be the first human on the Council and refuses to do anything that might stand in the way of that goal. While they argue the validity of my information, Saren is preparing to attack and we're sitting here completely helpless."

"You have done everything they have asked of you and more. In return, they take your ship and throw you aside like you are nothing. They owe you everything. I am sorry they have done this to you Shepard. You do not deserve to be treated this way."

"It's not your fault, Liara." Just to hear Liara acknowledge and understand her frustration left Shepard feeling much better.

"There must be something we can do, make them understand the threat. Maybe if we…"

"I tried Liara. I pushed as hard as I could and look where that got me. They won't listen. They've doomed the entire galaxy."

"So, you're just going to give up, just sit here and feel sorry for yourself?"

She's right. You are just sitting here feeling sorry for yourself. "Look, just give me a little time and I'll figure out what to do. In the meantime, you could join me in the med bay. I may need an ally when Dr. Chakwas finds out I was punching the lockers."

"Commander, do not tell me you are afraid to face Dr. Chakwas on your own." Liara stood, offered her hand to Shepard and helped her to her feet. Shepard found herself inches from Liara's blue eyes and couldn't look away. She thought once again that Liara deserved far better than a soldier with a bad attitude. She loves me. Even if I can't understand why, she loves me. As she looked in to those blue eyes, Shepard made a silent promise to always do her best to be worthy of that love, to be worthy of Liara.

TTTTTTTTTT

Dr. Chakwas was angry but after a look and little shake of Liara's head, she skipped the lecture and let Shepard off with a stern look. The two women left the med bay, grabbed some dinner and made their way to Shepard's cabin to eat. Liara sat staring at Shepard who was lost in her own thoughts and had barely eaten anything. Liara knew she was trying to find a way to get around Udina and his stupidity. Liara smiled as Shepard started to bite her lower lip. It was one of the many things Shepard did that Liara found so endearing. Shepard had no idea she was even doing it.

As Shepard and Liara were finishing dinner, Garrus and Tali arrived to discuss Engineer Adams. They had been reviewing C-Sec security logs since arriving at the Citadel and had found several instances of Adams and the other indoctrinated crew members meeting with Saren prior to the Eden Prime mission. Of those meeting with Saren, only Adams and the female ensign from engineering remained alive.

"After what happened before Virmire, I don't hold Adams or the other crew members responsible but we have to take precautions with them. We can't allow them to endanger to the rest of the crew. Maybe there's something we can do to help them, somehow break Sovereign's hold on them. They're not completely under his sway. What's the trigger? How does Saren communicate with them to give them instructions?" Shepard glanced at Liara who looked terrified. She was dealing with her own memories of Saren and Sovereign. "Garrus set up the logs in your new security room and get Engineer Adams and Ensign Petersen. I want to watch those logs with them, see what they have to say about them. I'll meet you there."

Garrus asked the question the entire crew wanted Shepard to answer. "Shepard, what are we going to do? We have to get away from here and get to Ilos."

"I'm working on it Garrus. I'll meet you and Adams soon."

Tali and Garrus left and Shepard immediately turned her attention to Liara who was seated on the edge of the bed and had remained silent.

When Liara didn't respond to her name, Shepard knelt in front of her. "Liara?"

Liara turned to face Shepard, her eyes full of fear. "Hey, what's wrong?" Shepard moved to the bed and Liara immediately stood and walked away. "Liara, what…"

"Shepard, what if Sovereign did something to me and I do not realize it. What if he can control me like he controls Engineer Adams? The things he did to me when Saren took me… I tried to resist him but what if he is inside my head? He made me see things that were not true. I saw you working with Saren. I saw you dying, calling out to me. I could do anything. I could hurt you…kill you. You have to stay away from me. Everyone has to stay away from me. I should not even be on the Normandy. I will go to C-Sec, ask them to hold me in a cell until we are sure that I am okay."

Shepard managed to get her arms around Liara who was struggling to get away from her.

"Shepard, get away from me. I am not safe to be around."

Shepard tightened her arms around Liara and refused to let her go. "Liara, please stop. You are safe to be around. I have melded with you, remember? I relived your memories and your mind was open to me. I saw what they did to you but you fought them and you beat them." Shepard tightened her grip on Liara even more and pulled her closer. "There is nothing inside you to fear. You won't hurt me or anyone else on this ship. It's okay Liara."

Slowly, Liara relaxed into Shepard's embrace, their bodies pressed against each other as if they were made to fit together like two halves of a whole. "You are right. Even if I was not aware of it, you would have known if I was compromised by Sovereign. I am sorry that… I don't… Shepard, I could not live with myself if I hurt you."

Shepard led Liara, who was still shaking, back to the bed and sat with her, holding her until she was calm. "It's okay, sweetheart. I know you would never hurt me and I swear I will never let Saren or Sovereign hurt you again."

After several minutes, Liara pulled herself together and said "You have to meet with Garrus. I am okay now. I am sorry. You have more important things to do than watch over me."

"Liara, nothing is more important to me than you. Garrus can wait." Liara's eyes widened, a look of surprise on her face at Shepard's comment and the emotion in her voice.

"Uh, no…no, you need to go. I am fine Shepard. I will be here when you are finished."

"I don't want you to be alone right now."

Liara smiled and pulled Shepard to her feet. "Go Commander. I want to look through my research notes for more information about Ilos. You will only distract me with those green eyes, crooked grin and your irresistible charm."

Shepard flashed her crooked grin and kissed Liara. "I'll be quick. I promise."

As Shepard disappeared through the door, Liara missed her presence immediately. You are the most important thing to me, Shepard. She didn't want to be alone but she wouldn't let herself be another burden to Shepard. She looked around the small space that she now shared and smiled at Shepard's hidden nature. She was, underneath the tough soldier exterior, a very giving person. Most people would never describe Shepard as warm, considerate, nurturing or thoughtful yet she was all these things and so much more. As Liara picked up her research notes, there was a knock at the door and Ash came in with Tali.

"Hey Liara, would you like some company?"

"Did Shepard send you to keep an eye on me?"

"Yes, she did."

Tali sighed and shook her head. "She did not send us to keep an eye on you. She told us that you might like some company for a couple of hours."

"I would like that very much." Liara was grateful for the distraction. Thank you, Shepard.

Ash pulled bottles of wine and glasses from a bag she was carrying. "Great. We can drink and talk about the crew."

Tali and Liara joined Ash at the small table as she poured the wine.

TTTTTTTTT

Shepard joined Garrus who had both Adams and Petersen with him. They viewed the security logs and both were stunned to see themselves with Saren. They had no memory of ever meeting Saren. Shepard spent several hours talking with them about what others had observed of their behavior, Sovereign's ability to control others and concerns about allowing them to remain on duty. She believed that they truly did not remember meeting with Saren or the things they had done while under Saren's control. Shepard felt that it would be more difficult for Sovereign to control them from a distance. She also thought that the control Sovereign had was minimal. She wanted to talk with Liara about melding with both Adams and Petersen to attempt to sever the link with Sovereign but only if Liara could do so safely. Shepard decided that both should be confined to their quarters until she could speak with Liara. She asked Garrus to escort Adams and Petersen to their quarters and to assign guards for both.

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard was with Garrus longer than expected and she was anxious to get back to Liara. When she entered the cabin, three heads turned her way. There were three wine glasses and several empty wine bottles on the table. Both Ash and Tali looked as if they had consumed more than a little too much and were attempting, unsuccessfully, to stand. Liara was watching them with a look of amusement.

Using the table as support, Ash managed to stand although she was swaying on her feet. "Commander, I think Tali had too much to drink. I'll just help her back to her quarters now."

Tali, unable to stand, gave up and slumped back to her chair. "I think I can sleep here in this lovely chair."

Liara stood, walked to Shepard and took her hand. "Thank you for asking them to keep me company. It was nice to spend time with them. They have been a very entertaining distraction but I still missed you."

Shepard gave Liara's hand a squeeze and said, "Let's get them to bed." She looked at Tali and Ash who had also resumed her slumped position in her chair. "Okay Ash. Liara and I will help you get Tali back to her quarters."

"Oh, that's good. I might need a little help too."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard and Liara had talked after getting Ash and Tali settled. Liara was willing to meld with Adams and Petersen and thought that she would, at the least, be able to confirm that neither knew what they were doing or that Saren was controlling them. They also talked about being grounded and how to get away from the Citadel. Shepard had decided to try talking with Udina the next morning. Just as Shepard had fallen asleep, Joker's voice woke her.

"Commander."

"What is it, Joker?"

"Captain Anderson sent a message. He would like for you to meet him at Flux as soon as possible."

"Did he say why?"

"No Ma'am."

"Okay, Joker, thanks. Can you let Pressley know that I'll be leaving the ship in 15 minutes?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Shepard looked over at Liara who was already out of bed and getting dressed. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay in bed?"

"I would rather go with you if that is okay."

"Yeah, it's okay."

TTTTTTTTTT

Liara had never been to Flux and would be happy to never go there again. She was surprised that an Alliance Officer would want to meet in such a place until Shepard explained that it was a good place to meet if you didn't want to be seen.

"Shepard, will Captain Anderson be upset about us… our relationship?"

"You're not Alliance so it's none of his business. Even if you were, I think he would overlook it as long as it was kept quiet."

"What about the Normandy crew. They are already aware of us. I do not want to cause you more trouble. It might be best if do not spend as much time in your cabin."

Before Shepard could reply, they were standing in front of Captain Anderson.

Anderson stood as the two women approached his table. "Shepard, thanks for getting here so quickly. This must be Dr. T'Soni… it's a pleasure to meet you doctor."

"Thank you, Captain. The Commander has told me much about you."

"Sit down. We need to talk. Shepard, you have to get away from here and back on Saren's tail. Udina's an idiot."

"He wouldn't listen, the council wouldn't listen. How can I convince him?"

"You can't. But I'll do whatever it takes to get you off this station. If I can hack Udina's computer and override his orders, you could be far away before he's aware that you're gone."

"What about you? You would be charged with treason."

"Shepard, you have to stop Saren and the Reapers. You're the only one who can stop them so I'll just take my chances. You need to get back to the Normandy and be ready when your systems come back online."

"This is stealing an Alliance vessel. What about the crew?"

"Shepard, that crew would follow you to the end of the galaxy if you asked them to do it. Now, go and be ready. You may only have a couple of minutes to get out."

Shepard grabbed Liara's hand under the table and stood. She pulled Liara to her feet but did not release her hand.

"Captain, thank you . The Normandy and her crew won't let you down. There are things in my life now that I'm not willing to lose."

Shepard looked at Liara then at Anderson who smiled and said, "Good luck, Commander."

TTTTTTTTTT

Shepard and Liara were on the bridge with Joker waiting for Anderson to override Udina's orders. Shepard couldn't keep still and was pacing up and down the short corridor. It seemed like an eternity until the Normandy was able to leave the Citadel and Shepard finally stopped her pacing.

"Okay Joker, head for the Mu relay. Let me know if they send anyone after us. I'll be in my cabin if you need me."

Shepard was exhausted but too anxious to sleep. She asked Liara more about the Protheans and Ilos trying to learn as much as she could about the place that would either end Saren's threat or end her life. She looked at Liara, felt her heart ache at the thought of leaving her and vowed that she would leave Ilos alive. She will want to be part of the team. It's too dangerous but I want her with me. Shepard sighed and paced around the cabin until she noticed that Liara could barely keep her eyes open.

Liara had been watching Shepard pace, hoping she would expend that excess energy so she could sleep. There was a knot of fear in Liara's chest at what would be happen once they reached Ilos. She wanted to be part of the team when it was time to land on Ilos. She was terrified that something would happen to Shepard. She needed to be with Shepard to watch her back.

"Liara, why don't you go to sleep?"

"I want to be part of the Ilos team. Without Kaidan, you don't have anyone else as strong with biotics. You need me with you."

Shepard sat on the edge of the bed. "I do need you. I need you for purely selfish reasons. I need you to be safe." Shepard gripped Liara's hand. "And I need you for your skill with biotics. So, you will be going with me even though I want you as far away from here as possible."

"Good, now come to bed with me."

TTTTTTTTT

The next morning, Liara planned to meld with Adams. Shepard was having second thoughts about the idea. Liara was unsure what, if anything, she could do to help break Saren's hold on the crew but after the ordeal she suffered with Sovereign, she had to do something. Shepard asked Dr. Chakwas to meet them at Adams' quarters. When they arrived, Adams was obviously nervous. Liara explained the melding to him and they started. Shepard was hovering around Liara until it was finished. Adams was shaken when he realized what he had done. After apologizing for several minutes, he asked Shepard to accept his resignation.

"Shepard, I do not believe Engineer Adams had any conscious knowledge of his part in the attacks that have occurred but I cannot determine if he is free of Sovereign's control. Perhaps the fact that he now knows about the indoctrination is enough to break Sovereign's hold."

"Engineer Adams I won't accept your resignation but you will need to remain confined to your room for now."

"Of course, Commander."

Shepard, Liara and Dr. Chakwas next went to see Ensign Petersen who readily agreed to the melding. Shepard was less anxious but continued to hover around Liara. After only a couple of minutes, she noticed a change in Liara. Her body was tensing and her breathing was shallow. Shepard called her name but there was no response from Liara. She took Liara's hands to pull her away from Petersen but Liara was resisting.

"Liara, you have to stop now."

Shepard tried once again to pull Liara away from Petersen. As she did so, Liara screamed and her body went rigid then limp. Shepard caught her as she collapsed to the floor.


End file.
